Jack Nicholson was correct admiring women in “The Witches of Eastwick.” As scientists are now pointing out males are simpler than females; but then we all knew this didn’t we. Perhaps L. H. Summers was incapable of appreciating the distinction when he implied women didn’t have the brains to become scientists and physicists. While Sam Clemens was direct about the distinction between men and women, declaring them to be “natural born enemies,” it hardly serves any purpose in exaggerating what too often seems to be the truth of this. But then Sam was equally direct in declaring politics too dirty a business for women to soil themselves engaging in this male bailiwick.

Alas, ignoring both Jack and Sam, a few women have chosen the political arena and may be paying a price for this. As scientists are affirming, males are predictably basic and their wiring and plumbing relatively uncomplicated. Females, on the other hand, are far more complicated and unpredictable. As Walt Kelly had it, women are “easy riled,” and men are often left wondering what set some woman off; much like Rick in The Mummy asking “What did I say?” as Evie stomps off in high dudgeon, a classic of men=basic and predictable, women=complicated and unpredictable. As the father of both sons and daughters, the boys were easy to deal with. My girls, they remained little extraterrestrials for surely they came from another planet.

Of course, it is only to be expected such an opinion will generate some heated discussion, much as if I were saying as a mere man “We should never have given them the vote.” But face it ladies, have you really bettered your condition at the ballot box? Well, of course you have, but what if Ms. Clinton appears to the world as the best you can do for representation? There is no escaping the perception when one woman appears on stage with several men in a debate for the presidential nomination; and that one woman presumes to speak for all women. “Not so!” some women will exclaim, but the perception remains. Talk about sticking out like the proverbial sore thumb! And not a few women cringe at the sight of such a thing. And will Oprah campaigning for Obama really change that perception? I don’t think so.

Life is unfair, and women bear the brunt of this unfairness. Certainly we look at the stage upon which politicians are performing, and have every reason to look at the men and ask ourselves why we Americans can’t do better than what is being offered as “choices.” But women have every right to ask the same question concerning Ms. Clinton.

The Washington Squirrel Cage is humming right along, the “squirrels” continuing to perform their antics on stage for audiences; would that politicians were equally entertaining as the real thing. Henry Thoreau had a fondness for squirrels that I share, and as he said they always perform like a dancing girl presuming an audience in attendance.

Perhaps rather than defame squirrels politicians should be likened to creatures like that giant scorpion discovered and is making headlines. “Men in Black” was certainly prescient in making giant creepy-crawlies the bad guys in the film; an eight-foot scorpion would not be a bug to trifle with, and led one researcher to point out “The discovery in 390-million-year-old rocks suggests that spiders, insects, crabs and similar creatures were far larger in the past than previously thought, said Simon Braddy, a University of Bristol paleontologist…”

Science continues to be stymied concerning the origin of life and what, exactly, life is, and discoveries like this giant scorpion declare how ignorant we really are about past life forms in many instances. Like past civilizations and questions surrounding Atlantis, UFOs, the ancient artifacts like the Sphinx and the pyramids in too many cases the best we have are educated, and some not so educated, guesses.

Things like this giant scorpion and the dinosaurs, of Nature red in tooth and claw support my own hypothesis much of Creation was of Satanic, diabolical origin. But perhaps Satan really was a lawyer and politician? Consider the results of this “species” and its impact on America. Lawyers and politicians being of diabolical origin at least might explain the “choices” We the People are being offered in the political arena. But if not, we are hard pressed to come up with a better explanation. And no matter how you slice it, these leave a trail of slime akin to some giant snail marking its progress and consuming everything in its path. As with that giant scorpion, I don’t doubt an equally giant snail is out there somewhere. Some of us would say they already inhabit the White House and Congress but wish they were at the very least as entertaining as squirrels.