How about something different while the Dove of Peace is having a really tough time of it; something like the wisdom of my great-grandmother; the wisest person I have ever known:

    The walk back home was dream-like to me… All I could think of was Jean.

    The music and the dinner had been marvelous, but it was the little angel that absorbed all my thoughts. And while her dad’s sermon had been very troubling and thought provoking, the good things surrounding Jean took precedence over all else. I carefully took the precious blue ribbon from my pocket and marveled at the treasure I held. My Lady's banner… a token of love from an angel!  I pressed it gently to my face and touched it to my lips… the faint heavenly fragrance of Jean was in it, a part of her.

    Something To Remember You By… The hauntingly beautiful song immediately leaped to my mind. I told Jean I loved her! Where had I found the courage to say such a thing to an angel? And she said she loved me, had thrown her arms around my neck and kissed me! And I had kissed her!

    I touched the ribbon to my cheek, imagining the little angel's kiss on my cheek once more, the feel of her arms around my neck, my arms around her, holding such a precious and heavenly treasure. She had felt so small, so warm and soft in my arms… The trusting dove.

    The picture of Jean reaching up with her small hands and untying the ribbon, the way her indescribably beautiful, angel's hair cascaded to her waist after she removed the ribbon, the way she said so softly, even shyly, that she wanted to give it to me, … that she wanted to give me something special, that she wanted me to have it, kept replaying itself in my mind.

    I knew that I would never forget the moment; just as I would never forget the first time we had touched with the baby duckling, our saying we liked each other, our holding hands as we walked together and the things we had shared, holding hands in the hallway, her hand on my shoulder and mine on hers, her hugging me when the Spad flew, singing together; and just a short time ago our telling each other I love you and then the kiss on each other’s cheeks, so many wonderful things to remember. And they were mine to remember and view in my mind over and over anytime I wanted… Forever! And she had given me the ribbon from her hair to help make it and keep it all real.

    All I wanted was to be with her; to hold her small hand in mine and look at her forever. I walked in music; all the great music I knew flooded my soul, heavenly choirs, opera, ballroom, popular, and classical... it was all there with Jean and me together.

    I lived, over and over, our kisses, our arms about each other, and most of all, most thrilling of all, our looking into each other’s eyes and saying to each other: I love you! I was in love with an angel and, incredibly, astoundingly, she said she loved me!

    “Grandma, I think God really has sent an angel into my life.”

    I had to tell grandma. No one else would understand; no one else could read me like she could. Grandma understood so much without having to say the words.

    “Oh, I'm so happy for you sweetheart. Now, please tell me all about it.”

    “Well, the Sunday school was pretty much like ours, but the church service was very different. And Jean's dad, Pastor Samuels, said some things that really have me thinking. The music went very well and everyone seemed to really like it. Jean really sings like an angel. And after church when Jean and I were outside waiting for Mrs. Comstock to call us in for dinner, Jean told me she thought Mrs. Comstock and her dad were going to get married (I had told grandma earlier about my meeting Mrs. Comstock and how nice she was and how Jean was hoping she and her dad would marry).”

    “Why, I think that's just marvelous, Donnie. There can't be too much love in the world; and it's a wonderful thing when people love each other. And from what you told me of Mrs. Comstock and the way Jean and Mike feel about her, I'm very happy to hear she and Pastor Samuels may marry.”

    I was delighted with grandma's reaction and, encouraged by it, plunged ahead with the greatest news of all.

    “And grandma, Jean was so happy and excited that for some reason I just had to tell her that I loved her. And grandma, she said she loved me too! We even kissed each other on the cheek.”

    “Well, now,” grandma replied, “just looking at you and listening to you, I'm not surprised, Donnie. I suspect you were right, that this girl is an angel; at least she has worked a miraculous transformation in you.”

    Grandma said this with a twinkle in her eyes. But it was a happy twinkle, not an amused one. Grandma was taking me seriously and I deeply appreciated it. I needed her to do so… This was serious.

    “I know I've never felt so wonderful about anything in my life. She's such a wonderful girl, and I really can't understand why she says she loves me. Is it wrong to wonder why, grandma?”

    “Sweetheart, love is the most beautiful, wonderful, and I believe the least understood thing in the world. We usually never know why two people fall in love; it just seems to happen. No, it isn't wrong to wonder why, but it might be wrong in your case to think yourself unworthy of someone's love.”

    I thought about that for a moment. Was I unworthy of Jean's love? Maybe not, but what made me worthy? That was what I didn't understand.

    “But grandma, I just don't know why such an angel would love me?”

    “Donnie, we don't always see ourselves as others do. I love you and Ronnie dearly and you love me, don't you?”

    “Well, sure grandma.”

    “Now, what is it that makes us love one another? Is it what we do or what we are?”

    I thought about that. “Well, maybe it's some of both?”

    Grandma laughed. “Now that's the truth. It's hard to love someone who doesn't do the things we expect of love. We believe that God is love and we expect him to always do the things he does out of that love. Now, as to Jean, she sounds like a very loving girl. She loves her dad and brother and this Mrs. Comstock. Maybe it would help if you looked at her love for you as a gift of God?”

    “I do, grandma, that's exactly how I look at it. But I wish I could understand it?”

    “Now, dear, I wouldn't go to analyzing it too much. You don’t question my love for you, and if I give you something because I love you, you don't ask me why, do you?”

    “No.”

    “And the things you and Ronnie give me, the things you give your mother, grandmother and grandfather, none of us ask you why, do we?”

    “No.”

    “Well, then, when the heart is motivated by love, I believe we should simply rejoice and praise God for such love, for the gifts of love.”

    “Yes, I guess so.”

    Grandma made it sound so reasonable and sensible. Of course we shouldn't question the motives and gifts of love. Grandma was right; and there really wasn’t any guessing about it.

    “And another thing dear, we should always consider love something sacred to God Himself, something never to be used or abused, never to be betrayed. It is an awful sin to betray the love of someone. Never forget the lesson of the betrayal of our Savior by Judas.”

    “No, grandma, I never will.”

    I wondered why grandma mentioned this? How could anyone ever betray the love of someone? Certainly not the love of someone like Jean, grandma, Tody or grandad! Unthinkable!

    Or was it? Jean’s mother suddenly came to mind. Hadn’t Jean, Mike and their dad loved her? And hadn’t that love been betrayed? It was a very disturbing thought. I didn’t want to think about that now so I turned to something else that was troubling me and I needed Grandma’s advice.

    “Grandma?”

    “Yes dear?”

    “I want to give Jean something really special, something that will tell her how much she means to me. But the only thing I have that I think is suitable is my ring. It means so much to me that, somehow, it seems the only thing worthy of giving her. I don't even know if she would accept it. I don't even know if her dad would let her accept it. But I don't want to hurt you, or Tody or grandad.”

    Grandma grew pensive, reflecting on what I said.

    “Donnie, it's only natural when we really love someone to want to give them the best we have to offer them, the things that mean the most to us. You still have a lot to learn about love, about other people. Now I'm not saying that Jean isn't worthy of this from you. I believe she must be. In that case, something like your ring might be the best choice. But I'd wait a while before making any decision about it. If, in time, you still think it's the right thing to do, and Jean will and can accept it, the ring was given you out of our love for you, out of pride in you for what you have accomplished.

    “None of us would question your doing as you see best with such a gift of our love for you. None of us would question how such love moves you to love someone else so much that you thought them worthy of extending that love of all of us to someone you love that much. But we can't ignore the material cost of such a gift either. That's a part of responsibility. And love without responsibility is not the best kind of love.

    “The ring is quite valuable, and though that's not the primary consideration, it must be taken into account. The fact is that you and Jean are still children and I know you are aware of this. Many things are going to change for you when you start high school in September. You're becoming a young man, and your own responsibilities will increase. I would expect you to behave responsibly in this matter of the ring.

    “Let's do this. Suppose we all get a chance to meet Jean and her father and brother; and Mrs. Comstock, if possible. I would very much like to meet her as well. Give us a chance to get to know them and for them to know us before you make up your mind.”

    “Yes, grandma, I'd really like so very much for you to meet Jean and for her to meet you, to meet her dad and Mike and Mrs. Comstock. And that would be the right thing to do.”

    What grandma was saying made sense. No matter how desperately I wanted to give Jean my ring, it was only right that our families should meet before I did so. I certainly owed this to grandma, Tody and grandad. It was the right thing to do. Nothing would change that. Like grandma said; no matter how much I loved Jean, doing right had to be a part of that love for it to be the best kind of love. In my heart, I knew Jean would agree. I was so grateful to grandma for bringing this to my attention and help me to understand and make sense of what I wanted to do.

    And grandma didn’t get upset with the idea, as I knew Tody and grandad would. Not that I could blame them; they would be right to be upset. This is why I still didn’t know if it was the right thing to do. Tody and grandad loved me and wouldn’t want me doing anything foolish or that would hurt me. The problem remained: How to do what I wanted to do; and what I thought was right to do, and not hurt grandma, Tody, or grandad?

    I purposely didn't wear the ring much; I kept it in its box in my dresser and seldom took it out. I had never worn it over in Jean's neighborhood so she had never seen it. And, too, I was very fearful of losing the ring and would rather not take the risk. So, it stayed in the box in my dresser.

    And, there was Ronnie. He didn't seem to resent the ring, but I wasn't about to rub it in; bad enough I was starting high school so far ahead of him. I loved Ronnie and wished he would take his studies more seriously.

    I didn't really care about rings or jewelry as such and seldom even wore my wristwatch. My clarinet, guns, fishing poles and airplanes meant much more to me than jewelry; but the ring was a gift of love and valuable to me most of all because of this, not because it was materially valuable or because of its beauty. But I so wanted to give it to Jean! It seemed so very suitable and I loved her so very much! I had to try to get her family and mine together.

    “Donnie?”

    Grandma pulled my attention back to our conversation.

    “You told me Jean's father said some things in church that got you thinking; what kinds of things, sweetheart?”

    “Well, he said we ought to think about whether God needs our help to overcome evil; that we shouldn't just be waiting for the Rapture or for God to do the things we ought to be doing. But the way he talked about God, it made me think of God as almost human. But grandma, if Jean really is an angel, a human, girl angel, wouldn't her father be someone special? Wouldn't he know God better than most folks for him to have an angel as a daughter?”

    Grandma took some time before answering.

    “You may have something there, Donnie. Of course any man with an angel as a daughter would, you would have to think, be very close to God. As to God needing our help, well, that is really something to think about. I'm not sure I agree; but then, it's not the way I have ever thought about God myself. I would like to ask this Pastor Samuels exactly what he means by God needing our help before I come to any conclusion on the matter. Perhaps God has given him some insight that I don't have or have missed in my own thinking on the subject. You're sure he said needed, not wanted our help?”

    “Yes grandma. It wouldn't have bothered me if he had said wanted.”

    “No, of course not dear; but you mentioned something about the things he said causing you to think of God as almost human?”

    “Yes, grandma, he talked about God as though he was talking about someone he knew, more like a human friend than God.”

    Grandma paused for a while before responding. She was looking at me with a curious expression.

    “Well, now, that really is something. I am definitely going to have to meet this minister that has made such an impression on you. Only Abraham is called a friend by God himself in the Bible. But, now, you're telling me that this Pastor Samuels talked about God like a personal friend, a human friend. That is quite something.”

    “Grandma?”

    “Yes, dear?”

    “Well, if God is our father, doesn't it make sense to think of him as a friend as well? We sing What a Friend We Have in Jesus. But maybe there should be a song like that about God our father?”

    Grandma smiled her wonderful smile and gave a little laugh. It was always wonderful to hear grandma laugh.

    “Sweetheart, I think you're right. We don't think and talk enough about God being a friend. We almost seem to exclude him by talking that way about Jesus all the time but not God. Do you suppose Jean's father was trying to tell his congregation something like that in his sermon?”

    I thought about that before answering.

    “Well, now that you mention it grandma I think that might have been a part of it; at least it got me to thinking about it that way. If God wants and needs our help, isn't that something you would expect in friendship?”

    Grandma paused again before replying.

    “You know, Donnie, if this minister is trying to get people to think of friendship in relationship to God, he has a difficult task ahead of him. I have to honestly say that I haven't thought about my own relationship to God in such a way. It is true that we seem to assume God can do anything and doesn't need us as friends. I have to tell you, this has got me to thinking now. As Christians, we do place an awful lot of emphasis on our relationship to Jesus; and maybe we ought to start thinking about how we may be leaving our heavenly father out of many things as a consequence.”

    I was surprised by what grandma was saying. Ronnie and I had always taken it for granted that grandma knew everything that there was to know about God and Jesus. But grandma was now telling me that there were things she didn't know, things she wasn't sure about in this regard. I didn't know what to say or think about this; it was unsettling.

    “Grandma, can God do anything?”

    “Well, the Bible tells us, as you know, that God cannot lie or swear by any power greater than his own,” grandma replied.

    “Well, if He can't lie, grandma, he couldn't steal or do anything bad, isn't that right?”

    “That's right, Donnie; of course God could never do anything bad.”

    “But grandma, if God can't do anything bad that means he isn't able to do everything, doesn't it?”

    From the look on grandma's face, I was immediately sorry I had said anything. It was an almost painful look.

    “Oh, Donnie, Donnie, we must believe that while God cannot do anything bad, we must be able to believe He can do anything good.”

    “But grandma, didn't he order the killing of all those Canaanites and cause a lot of people in Egypt to die?”

    “Yes, He did Donnie. But those were the judgments of God. But I think I know what's troubling you. How could a loving God cause bad things?”

    “Yes, grandma, that's what's bothering me.”

    “Donnie, we don't always know the workings of God or why he does some things. We just have to accept these things on faith. But I do have to say that these things trouble me as well. Maybe Jean's father has an answer to these things; I sincerely hope so. In any event, I certainly plan to ask him if I have the chance.”

    I began to be sorry I had troubled grandma with these questions. But it still bothered me that if God can do anything, why did he allow so much evil and suffering? Why did he ever even allow evil into the world to begin with? But if evil things were impossible for God, might there not be other things, even good things, he couldn't do? Was it possible God did need our help to overcome evil; that it couldn't be done without our help? But I tried to quit thinking about that. It was too fearsome a thought.

    And I wasn't going to trouble grandma anymore with such questions. All I could do was hope that Jean's dad could answer these questions himself. And I sure hoped so very much, although I had no idea when, where or how grandma and I would get the answers from him. But grandma's curiosity was really aroused. Much as it disturbed me to continue at the risk of troubling grandma further, I had to answer her questions.

    “Was there anything else Pastor Samuels said that caused you to think so hard about it sweetheart?”

    “He did say he didn't think there would ever be any real peace in the world until women were considered of equal value to men, and children were given their proper priority. But I'm not sure what he meant by that?”

    Grandma's face ran a gamut of expressions at this...Then she laughed; right out loud!

    “He said that!” she exclaimed through her laughter.

    “Yes grandma.”

    I was both surprised and relieved by grandma's laughter, but didn't understand why she thought it so funny.

    “Oh, my, my, my, that preacher is really something Donnie. How I wish some of that would rub off on all the other preachers in the world. I am definitely looking forward to meeting this man, no question about it.”

    I wasn't sure what had set grandma off, but was very grateful that I had told her something of what Jean's dad had said that put her in a good mood and seemed to leave her thinking well of him, that she was genuinely interested in meeting him. But I was glad I hadn't mentioned any of these things to grandad or Tody. If grandma found them so troubling and such a struggle, I was certain grandad and Tody's reaction would have been to forbid me to ever go back to that other church. And while I didn’t fully understand why this would be so, somehow I knew it was; and I couldn't bear it if that should happen. It might mean not seeing Jean. And that was unthinkable! But wasn't I being dishonest in not telling them? I knew Ronnie wouldn't care one way or the other, but grandad and Tody sure would.

    “Grandma?”

    “Yes, dear?”

    “Should I tell grandad and Tody about these things?”

    “No, dear, I don't think so. Your grandparents are good people and love you very much. But I don't think they would react too well to questions like these. Your grandfather is an exceptionally good man, but he is very stubborn about the things he believes; just like most people. I know you think you're hiding something from them. And that should trouble you. You're a very honest boy and I'm proud of you for being so. But in this case, there may not be any definite answers to the questions we've been discussing. People often confuse what they believe with what they know; I am often guilty of this myself. And perhaps this is what Pastor Samuels was getting at and trying to explain; I don’t know?

    “Rather than risk getting your grandparents upset, perhaps unnecessarily, I think it would be better if we discussed these things more at length before saying anything to them. Also, it will most certainly help if we can first meet Pastor Samuels. Meeting someone personally means a great deal before we pass judgment on what they say. The way you and Jean feel about each other makes it all the more important that her father gets a chance to present himself before we talk about things he has said that might easily be misunderstood or misconstrued by others.”

    I was enormously relieved by grandma's counsel. She hadn’t gone off on Jean and I being just children and not old enough to really love each other. She hadn’t made a fuss about the ring and had treated everything I was telling her as though I was old enough to understand. I didn’t think anyone else in the world would have reacted or understood like grandma. And maybe that’s why Ronnie and I never really thought about grandma being old. Nobody had to tell me that Jean and I were only children, too young to understand what love was all about; I knew we were children and no one had to tell me that, and grandma didn’t.

    But I knew how I felt about Jean. And no one but me could really know that… and I knew grandma understood this as well. And I wasn't trying to make grandma responsible for my conscience. I knew better than to try to do that. But everything she said, as with the ring, was reasonable and sensible, was right in my own mind.

    “Thanks, grandma; I know you're right about waiting to meet Pastor Samuels before anything else like giving Jean my ring. And I just know if grandad and Tody meet him, they're going to like him; and you too.”

    “I'm sure I will sweetheart. Now all we have to do is try to arrange it so we can meet him soon; and his children, most especially Jean, and Mrs. Comstock.

    “Grandma.”

    “Yes, dear?”

    I very carefully and slowly withdrew Jean's ribbon from my pocket.

    “Jean gave me this ribbon from her hair, grandma.”

    Grandma's face took on a soft expression; her pale, blue eyes were misting as she looked at the small, blue ribbon in my fingers.

    “My, my, my,” she said softly, “isn't that something really nice, really special, for a girl to give a boy.”

    “Yes, grandma, I've never been so happy. I'm going to keep it in the box with my ring. It's like I have a part of her with me now when I'm away from her.”

    Grandma reached out and gently touched the ribbon with her fingers, and still speaking softly she said, “That's exactly what she meant you to feel, sweetheart. It's truly a gift of love to be treasured.”

    I kissed grandma and hugged her. “Thanks, grandma, I love you.”

    “I love you too, sweetheart.”

    As I started to leave her room, grandma turned her head to look out the window. She had a faraway look in her eyes as though she was trying to remember something.