I went to Trout's Tuesday night to gather some thoughts from pals and employees of the honky-tonk's owner, Vern Hoover, who died of cancer sometime Monday night or Tuesday morning. When I asked the grizzled old folks to tell me a few stories, they said most of them were a little too rough for print. I was told he used to joke about elephant ears, and the joke involved pulling the linings out of his pants pockets...oh, I'm already in trouble for saying that much.

Anyway, do you guys have any stories about Vern? Or wild stories from Trout's in general? Here's what I got Tuesday:

As a few people danced the cowboy cha-cha to Josh Turner’s “Your Man” Tuesday night at Trout’s, friends and employees reminisced about owner Vern Hoover, who lost his fight with cancer and was found dead at home that morning.
Lynda Fette, Trout’s promotions director, said her boss wanted to be cremated, placed in one of his antique Jim Beam decanters and kept on the bar. He demanded Trout’s spokesman T. Rockwell (still very much alive) sit right beside him -- apparently the decanter is part of a matching set.
Here are a few tall tales (most of the good ones couldn’t run in print, buddies joked):

Karen Calton, 21-year bartender at Trout’s
He would take a shot of Yukon Jack once in a blue moon. He pulled some loo-loos. He liked a good joke. Every Halloween he would come as Wyatt Earp. I’m still in kind of a shock. He was my boss. I can see him up there laughing and smiling down on us.

Sonny James O’Brien, 50-year friend of Hoover
If you needed something, he would give it to you. He wouldn’t ask for anything in return. The only thing, respect.
If he asked a customer to leave, too much to drink, they always left. He didn’t have to persuade them.

Ed Shelton, bass player for The Stars & Guitars Band, trucker
Everybody has controversy in their life, but I never heard anything bad about him.

Johnny Barnett Jr., drummer for the Blackboard Playboys
I was going to Vegas and blew the engine out near Barstow. I hitched a ride to Bakersfield and told Vern. He gave me money from the register for the bus back to Vegas.
I knew him all my life. Mom was a waitress here when I was 10. I’m not sure I paid him back for the bus ticket.

Don Kidwell, bandleader for the Blackboard Playboys
I’ve worked here for 36 years as a musician. I worked here at 18. I wasn’t supposed to be in here. Vern found out and said, “You can’t do that.”
I wanted to buy some champagne for the band. The champagne was too expensive here so I went across the street. That was the second time Vern fired me. The last time was when I was 18.
It’s hard to tell stories you could print. He went through five wives. He loved the girls. At 24, 25, my car broke down. He said, “Find a car you want and call me.” (I found) a ‘76 Toronado. He gave me $2,500 and he said, “You find out how much the payments are on a new car and you halve that and pay me.” I paid him eighty bucks a month out of my paycheck.
I don’t think the funeral home will be big enough for Vern. I’m scared of the party afterwards.

Before you catch pop punk band National Product at the Dome tomorrow night, you can see them in a free acoustic show at World Records downtown from 2 to 3:30 p.m. More details on Thursday's big show with Bakersfield favorite Vogue in the Movement:

National Product, 1997, I Hate Kate, Vogue in the Movement. Tickets are available for $13 at World Records, 1824 G St. downtown, or online at www.timgardeapresents.com. Prices may vary slightly depending on the sales outlet. The Dome is located at 2201 V St. Doors open at 5 p.m.

Got the call from NBC this afternoon. They're hush-hush about the identity of this local man with an "odd" talent. Looks like he had enough to impress the Hoff, Ozzy's wife and a token British guy.

He'll perform at 9 p.m. tonight during the final two-hour Las Vegas callbacks episode, when the top 40 will be decided.

This is the last episode before the Olympics. "Talent" will return August 26 with a live competition. We'll see if Mystery Man survives those rounds.

The Chinese are trying to steal Oildale's thunder. That's according to Oildale-born ad man Sam Kemper. The year of the '08 only comes around every thousand years, he says, so all you kids north of the river, forget the Olympics and head out to Sam's bar crawl.

Oildale bars participating in "The Year of the 08: Celebrating Oildale 93308" will offer happy hour prices, but to get 'em, you'll need to wear the 08 shirt, available from Sam for $15. Everything starts on the :08.

I asked Sam what Oildale will look like a thousand years from now. The Jetsons? "Oh, my goodness," he replied. "They're still gonna be barefoot, 'Get off my lawn, I'm gonna kick your (insert expletive here)!'" Beat-up hovercrafts on blocks in the front yard.

The whole thing is haphazardly organized, so it's every man for himself. Call Sam for more information on all the venues and times.

I'm holding out for the true international summit of peace and goodwill: the Oildale Olympics on Labor Day weekend. It'll be somewhere around River and Manor near "big houses," Sam says. They'll have gold medals for the champs of horseshoes, badminton, volleyball, table tennis and wine-drinkin. Hot dang! 

"The Year of the 08" Schedule:

1. 8:08 a.m. Tee Time (Four tee times for anyone interested in playing golf in the morning at Oildale's Country Club North Kern) - Please contact Fletcher Olsen, 304-4873 or e-mail Jay Eliades at oeighter1@aol.com if interested.

2. 12:08 to 1:58 p.m. Lunch and cribbage at Highland Cafe. 

3. 2:08 to 3:58 p.m. The Trap Bar will be the next stop hosted by the Oildale Doggers. They're an amateur softball league. Sam says "I've heard tell Freddy

 -- one of the players -- "will cook something in the back."

4. Trout's is in here somewhere ...

5. 4:08 to 5:58 p.m. Dugan's Bar for more activities and socializing hosted by the Oildale Coldboys.

6. Rides will be available from Dugan's to the Elks Lodge using two cars on a rotating basis starting at approximately 5:38 p.m.

7. 6:08 to 7:28 p.m. Dinner at the downtown Elks Lodge. There will be Oildale trivia,  food catered by Coconut Joe's, games, drinks from the bar. Tickets will be hard to come by, but you can try anyway.

8. 7:28 to 8:08 p.m. Special games, ceremony, and 8:08 count down.

9. 8:08 p.m. to 12:08 a.m. Oildale's famous Arvizu Brothers band and guests will play.

Commemorative tattoos are $2, T-shirts are $15 and hats $10. 

Call Sam at 330-2481.

And so it is revealed...
   
Here's 96.5 FM's press release:

The countdown is over…the New 96.5 Max FM launches in Bakersfield today.

BAKERSFIELD (August 5, 2008) Today at 12 p.m., Lotus Bakersfield Corp is launching a new music radio station 96.5 Max FM.  After a series of publicized marketing stunts and a five day countdown, Bakersfield now has a Classic Hits station filling a void in the market. 96.5 Max FM will feature music to attract the adult listener 35 years and up.

Many artists will be featured such as, Eagles, Tom Petty, Elton John, Crosby Stills & Nash, CCR, Steely Dan, etc. 96.5 Max FM music targets the generation of people who are now in their peak income earning years.

For the past nine years, Lotus Bakersfield Corp has owned and operated The Spanish Radio Group, including KIWI FM, KPSL FM, KWAC AM and KCHJ AM.

The acquisition of 96.5 FM is Lotus Bakersfield Corp’s first venture into General Market Radio in Bakersfield.
   

Because I'm a dork, I'll be listening at noon to hear the switch. Goodbye, creepy robot man!

UPDATE: As robot dude counted down the final minutes, he said stuff like, "The suspense is killing me" and "Start over, no, no." Then at the end of the countdown, there was the alien, static-filled sound of someone tuning in and a female voice spouting the names of different classic rock bands: Aerosmith, The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac. A male voice told listeners to brace themselves for an experience like no other: "Welcome to 96.5 MAX FM. We play the music we all grew up with."

First song on the air: "Start Me Up," the Stones. Good call! (Second song was "Crocodile Rock" by Elton John, if you care.)
 

There. More than you ever wanted to know.

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You might think it's the end of the world if it weren't for the oddly comforting movie quote or two. KBKO-FM, 96.5 on the dial, is airing this freaky robotic male voice counting down to, oh, I don't know, an alien takeover?

As I write these lines roundabout 5:31 p.m. Friday, the voice (which sounds suspiciously like Mark Howell of KUZZ news) is telling me: "T-minus three days, 18 hours, 30 minutes, 34 seconds, and counting." He adds, "Go ahead, punk, make my day," with none of Dirty Harry's seething confidence.

Seems we have a mild "War of the Worlds" situation on our hands. Californian readers wrote in wanting an explanation. The noon TV newscasts reported viewers were concerned.

Here's what I found out:
"The stunt precedes the debut of a new format at KBKO Tuesday at noon. Ex-parent company Clear Channel Communications Inc. swapped stations in a deal with Lotus Communications Corp. this past Tuesday.
The cheeky 'War of the Worlds' approach has been effective in grabbing attention and has given the station some time to prepare for the switch, says new KBKO general manager Greg Holcomb of Lotus Bakersfield.
'Our phone has been ringing off the hook,' he adds.
Local Clear Channel operations manager Kenn McCloud says the former country station, which first hit the airwaves in September 2004, signed off at 10 p.m. Tuesday. A Las Vegas software programmer made the loop for several radio markets. The scary voice resides in a laptop computer and spouts more than 900 quotes."

Holcomb says the new station will offer a family-friendly adult format.

In the meantime, robot man needs voice lessons. Inflection is everything.

What crazy quotes have you heard? Post 'em here. Let's see if we can get all 900. A box of  "Chicken In A Biskit" crackers to whoever posts the most. I swear it.

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Little vignettes of weirdness around town really make my day. At lunch I was stopped at the corner of California and Stockdale, blasting ABBA's "Take a Chance on Me" on the stereo. I've been in a campy mood in preparation for my "Mamma Mia" movie outing Friday with some of the news staff, which we'll top off with dinner at a kitsch restaurant. (Thinking Red Robin; any suggestions out there?)

No "Dark Knight" fever for me just yet. I'm all about the sweat-stained polyester jumpsuits and bad English of this '70s Swedish supergroup. Anni-Frid here captures the mood of my Friday plans. (Vilken fest is Swedish for "Oh, what a party." It's fun to chant.)

Anyway, as I idled at the intersection, I saw two teen boys in a banana and strawberry costume moonwalking across the street. They were in perfect sync with my ABBA song. I couldn't get a photo in time, but I assure you, it was a knee-slapper. Ranks up there with driving alongside (and really wanting to drag race) the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile on Truxtun a few months ago.

Any of you ever have one of these soundtrack moments in your car?

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Will you dress up? Do you work like the rest of us and need your sleep on Thursday, so you're putting it off 'til Friday? Or do you boycott any version of Batman that Tim Burton's creepy/cool little hand didn't touch? We want to know!

"The Dark Knight," that long-awaited moody Batman sequel starring Christian Bale, Heath Ledger and Maggie Gyllenhaal, will open Thursday at midnight (technically Friday morning) to lines of salivating fans. According to the intrepid reporting of our Gotham Gazette gumshoe, Louis Medina, of the Marketplace's seven auditoriums where the film will be screened at midnight, five were sold out as of Tuesday. A full sellout and long lines were expected day of show. Reading Cinemas at Valley Plaza had sold 300 tickets by Tuesday. They're planning a bash with a projection of the bat signal and an appearance by 106.1 FM KRAB Radio personality “The REAL Bruce Wayne." Bet he's not as dreamy as Michael Keaton's Brucie boy. 

Reading Cinemas Valley Plaza, 

833-2230

The film will be shown in four auditoriums: two with 60-foot screens seating 465 people each, and two others with somewhat smaller screens seating about 280 each.

Edwards Cinema, at The Marketplace, 663-3042

Staffers expect a full sellout by Thursday. Long lines outside are expected.

East Hills Mall, 872-0517

As of Tuesday, 35 seats had been sold. The theater expects the biggest crowds on Friday.

Well, a staged fight, but it sure attracted a crowd. Burly guys from North American Wrestling took their nasty little squabble from the picnic tables to Vogue in the Movement's stage at Rockin' Roots Fest 2008 in Stramler Park on Saturday, knocking over snow cones and overturning a trash can along the way. It's just one of the videos I shot at Rockin' Roots, which featured more than 100 bands on eight stages. Because this is a family paper and all, I have to warn there's some pretty foul language on these videos, so be warned before you click.

 Check them all out here.

I also chatted with the hometown boys of Vogue in the Movement post-show about the brawl. Then there's hawt G Smoke, a rapper straight outta Greenfield, who tosses Portuguese into his rhymes. (Muito legal, meu menino!) Got a clip of Monte Negro, dreamy reggae rock from L.A. I was fond of their dashing black waistcoats and fedoras.

I caught up with the Millionaires after their show, which drew some very stylish fans to Rockin' Roots. (See my blog entry on Rockin' Roots style.) They're '80s hip-hop and electropop a la Peaches, and their song "Alcohol" lured all the crazy party kids onto the stage.

I also got a fun interview with Sacramento all-girl hard rock band Aroarah inside the ladies room. (It was just too loud outside.)

Another disclaimer: Speaking of loud, the sound in these videos is pretty rough, so forgive the drawbacks of my little Casio.

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Black tees, skinny jeans and skinnier teenage boys, piercings, hair sticking up all over the place -- to be expected at Rockin' Roots at Stramler Park on Saturday. As I roamed from stage to stage shooting video of the bands, I also tapped the shoulders of a few fashionable fans in the crowd.

 Centennial students James Brandon and his girlfriend Brianna White: James couldn't quite figure out how to do a Mohawk, so he enlisted Brianna's help. James' head was pre-shaved, she just needed to add the gel. It showed no signs of drooping when I caught up with them around 4.

Electropop artists Holly Valentine of Hyper Crush and Sarah Hudson of Ultraviolet: These two stood out just before the Millionaires show. Clashy, trashy '80s: Holly wasn't afraid to pair socks with chunky patent black heels. Betsey Johnson would approve, especially of her gemstone anchor pendant around Sarah's neck. That thing is luscious, covetable, and sold out on the Web site (good, because at $110 it's out of my price range.) Sarah also paid tribute to the '80s with a single gold LOVE earring.

CSUB students  Jasmine Henderson  and Briana Woodfox: The Milionaires show brought out more fab girls, like these two in screaming turquoise and orange. Briana's silver jacket came from Off the Wall at the mall, and Jasmine's wide yellow elastic belt is from Charlotte Russe. I doubt Briana will singlehandedly bring the fanny pack back into fashion, but it works on her.