Excuse me, Sioux ...

If you don't mind, I don't want to waste my own pixels ( so, I'll waste yours :   ) to let everyone know that VanityFare locked me out of my own blog !

http://people.bakersfield.c...

Please, delete this post whenever you deem it's appropriate.

--virgil

By the way, that's a shame about Marilyn monroe's resting place and memory among the Hollywood elite.

I bet it's the economy.  Good thing we have a few good men on the job though. Perhaps in year, or so, that crypt will move for what it's worth.

--virgil

VanityFare locked me out of my own blog ! virgil

 virgil i told you to take it down a notch because you werent making any friends..i wasnt lying..are you still thinking about that apology..the list is growing  bud..do you wanna spend your days in exile running around the blogs complaining everytime someone takes offensive to the social inner action you have been displaying as of late?? this whole thing is affecting the blogs and nobody wants to read about this ongoing battle the way its being presented filtering into other people blogs day after day ..i think by now everyones decided whom they feel is right and whos wrong...

Id honestly consider calling a truce whether its just moving on or being man  enough to shake hands..

virgil  I bet it's the economy.  Good thing we have a few good men on the job though

i seriously doubt that a dying person with the bucks to purchase a crypt above marlyns would care about whos in office or the state of the economy..the last thing on my mind would be how much money i had left in the bank if it was my dying wish... i would empty it and so would alot of other folks

This one is over my intellect; I don't understand it. If a person is dead, what difference to him if he's worm food next to a movie star or a wino?

I agree catpaw..my only preferences in this situatioin would be ..being planted near the ones I loved..

People can only lock people out of their own blog.  They cannot lock others out of other peoples blogs.  Only admin can do that.

RE Marilyn... You'd have to be a wealthy Marilyn fanatic fan to spend that kind of money on a crypt.  I went to Greenlawn on the hill the other day to visit my brother and brother in laws graves.  I hadn't been there in a long time and it took a bit to locate them.  Almost straight out from the BIG pine tree.

Their pictures were put on the headstones back in 1955 and have long since peeled away and the underneath crumbled away too.  I noticed a lot of oval "holes" in other headstones so it was a reminder not to spend the extra money unless it gives you comfort for a while.  It was good to sit and just reflect and I wonder why I don't go more often as I'm in that area at least once a month.  My parents and the rest of the Anderson family are buried in Union Cemetery.  I've often wondered why my Dad chose their places there instead of by their son.  Being the practical depression era person he was I'm guessing he felt Greenlawn was too expensive and that in the end, it doesn't matter where we take our final rest.

My instructions are to be cremated and scattered over the hills overlooking the valley.  In this life I need to be free so I'll take that with me into whatever the next life brings.  I was a little upset when they put the Veterans Cemetery about where I'd made my plans but then was reminded..."hey, just think of all the guys you'll keep company with."  Not such a bad thing after all.  Residing in the soil in the neighborhood of all those men and women who served this country would be an honor indeed.

I'll be cremated and scattered with the love of my life near the California Coast.  No need for a plot or a marker.

Agreed RF.  Although I did wonder if I was doing the right thing denying my kids a place to visit me.  Then I had a quiet laugh thinking about how long it has been since I visited "the boys" and how long since I visited my parents.

The kids and grands don't need a guilt trip because they haven't  been out to clean the headstones in a long time.  I'd rather they look to the southeast hills and give a wave now and then.  After all, we all live on in the hearts of the ones who love us...and that's what really matters.

And if there is a spirit of me left, it will be on that hill watching over them.

Being the tidy person that I am, I have my plot and cremation paid for.  Now I'm working on the plot opening and closing (sounds like a road show huh?).  My last expense will be the grave marker.   I'll have a hand in the wordage on that too.

I'd like to write my own obituary.  I could let Cat do it but she'd probably use it as an opportunity to be funny. 

My husband and I will share a plot  at Shafter Memorial Cemetery.  I would rather have a plot to myself rather than share with him because if he's anything in death like he is in life, I'll spend eternity cleaning up after him.  

hahaha your probably *RIGHT* about cat audrey

im not real keen on the scattering thing..my best friend was killed in a job related accident a few years ago..his wife kept him in the garage for a few years and then split bits and pieces up between the relatives once she started her new life...lord knows where hes ended up..we were tight since we were kids..he was my best man and i was his..we shared the love of drawing and sad moments along with good times for over 30 years..call it sellfish or what ever  but theres been times when i would have loved to have had a spot where i could just go talk to him and tell him when i was having problems like i did in the past..or share the site with my grand kids and introducing them to one another..other than my wife he was always there when i needed a friend..

that was taken away from us by a woman that  had only known him for about 5 years..his original wish was to be cremated because of the expense of embalming..but the company paid for it so i know she did it for selfish reasons..she said she just wasnt ready to let him go..she has since remarried and moved down south and left a whole in our lives that wont ever be replaced by her actions..

 theres been times when i would have loved to have had a spot where i could just go talk to him and tell him when i was having problems like i did in the past

Sioux    This is why I have a problem with ashes being scattered.   I need to be able to imagine that person in a place.  A place where I can mourn.   If there wasn't a place to mourn, I'd have a harder time getting through my grief.

Sioux, you could just as easily go to a spot that was a favorite of the two of you, fishing spot or whatever and have that quiet time with your friend.  He's in your heart, not in some grave in the ground or an urn of ashes.   When I visited the boys it wasn't that I felt their presence, it was more of a focal point.  I was too young when they died to have built up special places where I could feel them near me, but had I been able to do that, I'd have preferred my talks to be there.

For most of us, funerals are a terrible financial burden on the ones leave behind.  Some have them paid for as Audrey has but most of us don't.  I'd rather they take the money for a funeral and have a great buffet with family and friends.  I'd rather they take the funeral money and take the kids to Magic Mountain or Disneyland.

Forgive my irreverance here but to me, spending thousands on funerals and caskets really is like pouring money down a rat hole.  Not that we are rats you understand..just a figure of speech.  :-)

Nancy

I'm burying myself on the installment plan.  $50 a month.  ;-)

Mine's $100 a month.  Will be paid up by year's end.

Good Old Neptune!

fyi its about 800 bucks to be planted with a loved one if your cremated already..we have been looking into it since my wifes mom was just informed she has terminal lung cancer..too many years of inhaling smoke..my wifes father is in the military section at union cemetary and has been since she was 2 years old..thats the price we were quoted..i think if a family buys a plot and they all want to be cremated the cost might even be less for a group

I need to get started on mine too.  Planning and paying ahead for a creamation or such is a lot different than planning and paying ahead on a funeral.  I look forward to the one but not the other.  I'm not so anxious to spend my money that way with no return.  :-)

Good Old Neptune!

Yup.

It's the opening and closing that's expensive Sioux.   Open for my husband (assuming he goes first).  Then another opening for me.   It adds up.  But you can pay everything in advance if you work out a payment plan with the cemetery.

BTW  Go for a bronze headstone (plaque)  They last the longest.   And they take on a beautiful patina as they oxidize.  As though I'll notice.  LOL

Back in 1956 when our three died together they were buried side by side at Greenlawn in identical caskets. My brother and brother in law had the same headstone but their friend Johnny's family picked out a different one for him.  The triple service was held at a Funeral Home on Chester Ave, long gone now, and the procession blocked traffic from Chester to Panorama.  At the time it was the biggest funeral ever held in Bakersfield with people overflowing onto the sidewalk.

Isabella Dam was recently built and the lake recently formed and they were the first major tragedy there.  It was a 3 day ordeal finding all the bodies and made headlines because of it.

Odd how the visit to Greenlawn brought it all back.

I read of the three college students who drowned in the jeep and feel so sorry for those people.  I guess that brought a lot of it back too.

Sorry for going off in another direction.  As I wrote to my sister, I'm getting maudlin.  Comes with age I guess.

Maudlin?   I get that way every time I talk to my mother.  Her conversation always turns to those who aren't  here anymore.   Its as though her mind is stuck in a groove which she can't get out of.

She's in the hospital up north now and I'm waiting for news of her.    So it's not surprising that I'm dealing with floating anxiety today.

Audrey, I'm sorry to hear about your Mother.  I lost mine in 1974 at age 56 and I still wish I could have had her as long as you've had yours.  My Dad died in 1985, New years eve day.

wow...i cant believe no one wants to pay to be on top of MM  :0 )

RandowmFactor said...I'll be cremated and scattered with the love of my life near the California Coast.  No need for a plot or a marker.

did you know that is against the law?  cremated ashes are considered a hazardous material...and IF the person dumping your ashes gets caught, they are subject to a very healthy fine?

Learnem, you'd probably be surprised how many people scatter ashes across the country without anyone knowing anything about it.  One guy had his scattered along the railroad tracks up on the hill.  You just don't make a big ceremony of it.  Or an announcement.

edit..besides, the fine is probably a lot less than a funeral.  Anyone ever see the Reba episode where Brock scatters his dad in the sand bunker at the golf course?

And then there's Bridges Of Madison County.

"... and IF the person dumping your ashes gets caught, they are subject to a very healthy fine?"

http://www.youtube.com/watc...

Well, it could be worse. They could be speaking french while you're being spread.

--virgil

Most people put off making arrangements because they dislike the idea of dying.  It happens to everyone sooner or later.  Pre-arrangements takes a great load off the survivors.  I made all my arrangements years ago.  I even have a sample obit in my computer and instructions for my sons when the time comes.  Everything is in a living trust and they will become the executors when I go.  When my bride passed on I got a double headstone. All they have to do is add my date (paid for) It gives one a measure of satisfaction to have all the arrangements made. My brother, on the other hand has simple instructions. As a retired Lt. Col. in Special Forces he want to be cremated and his ashes spread over the Bragg jumping area. If I outlive him I will make sure his wishes are carried out.

i know Nancy...i was just sayin....We scattered my mom's ashes in the dunes.  my friend is a BLM ranger that services the Dumont Dunes, and he is the one that told me all the drama about allthe EPA regulations regarding dumping ashes, and how steep the fines could be

i was under the influence of my favorite beverage at the time , so i cannot remember the fines, but they were big...more than 1k

LOL Roy

You and I could be twins!

 I even have a sample obit in my computer and instructions for my sons when the time comes.

but what if your computer crashes right after you do?? Id keep a hard copy some where...besides wheres the fun in that..the family prefer to write down their thoughts and feelings at that time which is more important..i imagine cat could do you quit the justice audrey

but what if your computer crashes right after you do??

Zeroth rule of computing (comes before the First.):  Make a backup!