Jerry's punishment from his Lord...
to be resurrected like the flying Nun that just happens to look like Elvis...
Oh well...








Heh heh...gang...it's Lucifer here...just thought I'd drop in and say howdy to you all out there in the land of the living...for now that is. Yeah I've got some plans up my sleeve that you'll find interesting...you always do! Yeah...ol' Jer was taking too much of the limelight lately...so I recalled him. That's right I called him back home where he is needed to help keep the other crooks and liars in line while I go out looking for more worthy candidates. I still have levels in the Inferno that haven't been inhabited yet...some that Dante (that little devil) never was privy too...though he thought he was in the know...if you know what I mean!

You know...Jerry keeps the conversations going around here real good. People just are never at a loss for things to yell at him across the void of roiling flames. Tempers get a tad short around here sometimes...but I try to be understanding. Jerry is the new celebrity for now...or however long that lasts...because...see...I have this other guy on the hook and I'm about ready to reel his old ass in too. This guy hasn't got an excuse in the world for staying up there after some of the many...and I mean many...uncool things he's done...and some of it was to his friends no less!
His snarl alone will get him a good spot on the hottest level I guarantee you that! I know you think I'd be doing the world a favor...but actually I am thinking of all the many creatures of the Lord out in the forests and such. I do care about woodland critters you know...don't believe all the hype you hear about me...a lot of it isn't true...no really...seriously it isn't true. But...let's get back to the Big Dick again. You know? He makes me shiver in my red tights sometimes too...I've even lost the grip on my pitchfork a time or two. Betcha thought I was going to say sanity...come on...that's what you thought...you know you did! No...this guy really has done some damage in your world...and right now I am having a special down stairs...kind of a bargain basement kind of thing if you know what I mean? So send me those letters and emails and tell me how you really feel about this wanker...so I can make an informed decision. I don't want to be red in the face with embarrassment if I were to be too premature about it...if you know what I mean. Thanks...tah tah!

PS...just so's you know...Pat Robertson is looming large...if you know what I mean?

And thanks to the people that let me steal their pics...I'll take it into consideration when your turn for the worm comes...no really...I will!