It's another case of where you have to lie to the government so you can conform to federal legal requirements. I walked into the Social Security office about three weeks ago with my marriage license in hand and they just filled out the forms and legally changed my name. Not only that. They gave me a form to take to the DMV so I'd have proof of my intention to change my name. The DMV guy just yawned and issued me a new driver's license with my new name on it.

When you get married you get an exemption from having to go to court to change your name. Under no other circumstances other than by marriage can you change your name without going to court. You just fill out a form at Social Security and the DMV and it's a done deal. But the State Department won't allow you to do that. And, when you file your federal taxes, you have to lie and say you are not married because the IRS doesn't recognize same-sex marriage. So you can only file as single. Then, you have to include a letter to the IRS explaining why you filed "married filing joint" or "married filing single" because the IRS will audit you when they see the discrepancy between your state and federal tax declarations.

You essentially have to say, "I am legally married in the State of California and am required by the state to file as a married person. However, because the federal government does not recognize same-sex marriage and I cannot truthfully say I am actually married on my federal tax filing. I am forced by law to lie about my marital status in order to file my federal taxes and I understand that lying on one's federal taxes is a violation of the law. That is the reason for the discrepancy between my state and federal tax filing."

It gets worse. If you declare on the US Census form that you are legally married, the Bureau of the Census will not count you as married if you are in a same-sex marriage.  It is perjury to lie on any government document, including the Census form. So if you don't answer honestly that you are legally married when that is the truth, you have perjured yourself. Yet the Census Bureau is required to not count your legal marital relationship, and they, too, are guilty of perjury by lying about your legal marriage. But the Census Bureau has a legal loophole. The are directed by the law not to recognize legal marriage of a same-sex couple.

What it all boils down to is that the US Goverment is sanctioning lying.  It's also sanctioned in the armed forces with the enforcement of "Don't Ask-Don't Tell". In short, you are required to lie about your homosexual orientation in order to hold employment in the armed forces.

What kind of society does this country want: one in which lying is encouraged and legal, or one in which telling the truth is the example we uphold for our children?

It sounds like a society that wants it to be very difficult to be openly homosexual.

What's the big deal husband? I thought everyone lied on their federal taxes. Why should you be any different?

I think that there is a beginning to every change! I went to enroll our son in preschool the other day and noticed the state has finally changed the paperwork to include a domestic partner! So how long has domestic partnership been around? Yeah , so if im right it will take time. It's going to take time for every agency to figure out there paperwork. I know the law just changed, and we must anticipate the ever so processing delays it takes in many levels of our government. Meanwhile celebrating our right to be equal regardless of our sexual orientation should out weight the little delays in our lives....

The reality is that the California Courts do not make Federal Law even though they think they can self righteously dictate to everyone else. 

Well, now when I enroll my kids in things now, I will not only be asked if my children have the same last name as mine, or if they have they're fathers, or a domestic partners? I just hope thy aren't around for those questions.

Well, Way, it's not California that is sanctioning lying. It's the federal government. So your point is...? California doesn't legally force you to lie about your marital status.

The point is you are two men and are not really married.  The Pope could marry you and you would still not be married.  Reality Check. 

Who's only "really married"? Only good wholesome Christian marital relationships between men and women?

Would you care to wager anything, say, all your personal property, possession, including the shirt on your back to prove that my marriage is not legal in this state? See, the Pope, nor any religious figure no matter how high up, has any so-say over civil marriage in any of the 50 states. There is no religious test or requirement for legal marriage anywhere in this country and most of the countries of the world, including Italy where the Pope lives.

I didn't think so.

The other point this deal with the State Department brings up is the problem of traveling out of the country. If your passports had one name, but all your other identification has another, it puts you under suspicion when you attempt to return to the USA. So you have to go though additional red tape

Some believe in a law higher than state and federal government. Our country was based on this.

So go get a marriage license from the "higher law" and see if it gets honored in the United States.

I did 13 years ago...Alot longer than when the liberals made yours possible.

HM you seem to want to wager a lot.  Are you trying to say you have a gambling problem as well as a sexual disorder?  Don't worry with God's help both can be over come. 

NOT the wager again.  Please. 

husband, since you like to make wagers with fellow bloggers, I've got one for you. I'll bet you the shirt on my back, all my property, my retirement pension, my deferred comp., and my new Callaway driver, that the odds of me ever getting AIDS is a whole lot smaller than yours are.

Wow!!!

OldBlue...good one

I took my maiden name after the divorce,so my name and my son's never matched up...big deal.We all should realize this will end up in Federal Court,were,hopefully,equal protection and civil rights will be extended to all. BTW ~Happy Anniversary to me,20 years. Oh wait ~you  may want to hold back your good wishes...it is my 2nd marriage. 

" What's the big deal husband? I thought everyone lied on their federal taxes." wow ob~ bet you go to Fed.prison before HM does?  

Well, I believe people should put their money where their mouth is instead of lying about others.  You guys want to lie about me. Fine. Let's give you the chance to prove what you say in public. So, the wager stands.  I mean, for the second time in two days, Wayfarer, you made statements that were false. I'm saying they are false. You said yesterday that I hadn't been in the military and today you said I wasn't really married.  I'm giving you a gift here. You prove either one of those statements and you get all I own including the shirt off my back.

You, Vwilroy, made another false statement and I challenged you, too. The challenge stands. You get my entire fortune if you prove the assertion I wagered you on.

Both of you are cowards to accept because you already know you were lying.  So, all I can say is if you want to win everything I have, you ablility to prove what you say is the only thing standing in your way of owning a couple of homes and my life savings. So put up or shut up. The wager stands.

What a display of religious-sanctioned hatred on this thread. Sad, absolutely sad. Reminds me of my fish when they all start picking on the fins of the weakest sibling.

Happy Anniversary, Sage!  And congrats to Mr. Sage, too.

HM  You got married...we get it. Who cares... I mean really. Do you think it will be anymore accepted if you keep shoving it down our throats???

SF, the big deal is that I'm young and have two children, yet everyone assumes that I am a single mother. That makes me angry, because that shows the decay of our society!!!!

Uh, Getalife,

Same-sex marriage issues are the subject of this blog. Not "who cares".  The Bakersfield Californian started this blog to get people to speak to the issue, not to invite people who don't speak to the issue.  Get it? It's called "staying on topic", one of the Terms of Service here.

HM~ Thanks....

getalife~my advice is to give a rats ****  bottom,what you believe others are thinking. You know who you are,that is all that should matter.

Yea Shwaine it's kinda of like what happens when somebody says "wait a minute, homosexuality is wrong."  and he gets called intolerant, hater, prejudiced, and Christian.  If I could just live up to the last one I will be happy for eternity.  One Saint said that God isn't going to ask you to perform miracles.  He is going to ask if you could be found guilty of the charge of being a Christian when the persecutors come. 

Getalife:  Ditto what Sage said. You don't own anyone an apology for being a young mother.

Way~ maybe it's wrong for you,but many folks know that is who they are.I'll freely admit to being a hater~I think murders,tax cheats and generally people who hurt others are bad. See the difference? I know you won't but I ask anyway. BTW I'll be watching "the island" this week,I'll let you know.

Getalife offered: "I did 13 years ago...Alot longer than when the liberals made yours possible."

Good for you. I'm very pro-marriage. It has a stabilizing effect and you should be proud. I paid my taxes over the years because I believe that benefits should accrue to married people, even when I was barred from marriage. No. Wait. You don't have to thank me. It was my duty as a citizen to encourage marriage. I'm happy for you.

HM Why is it you turn every topic into.... it. I will state my case then if you so please. I think that Homosexual marriage is WRONG.  

I voted against it, but the supreme court seems to think it is OK to over throw the people. That doesn't change my view nor the view of the people who voted NO. ( which was the majority) So there you have it, and I stayed on topic. Don't think I won't call you on that next time you stray from the subject!!!!!

OH by the way HM I paid my taxes too when I was single. We all have to pay our taxes. I don't believe in welfare or illegal immigration, but I can't just stop paying my taxes. I get no thanks from those people either!

If I could just live up to the last one I will be happy for eternity.

That's a worthy goal. We're just wondering when you're going to start. The perfection of your eternal soul is the goal of every Christian and you have plenty of guidance to use as a launching pad.  Christ said, "In all thing, do unto others as you would want them to do unto you."  If you want a fair and just law, you must work for far and just laws for others. Now go to it.

I will state my case then if you so please. I think that Homosexual marriage is WRONG.  

So, as the saying goes...don't have one.

Thanks for your feedback, Getalife. You have much to be proud of.

There is a difference between disapproving of someone's lifestyle choices and bombarding them with vitriol over it.

If the SSA changes their names the passport office should also. 

Yea Shwaine it's kinda of like what happens when somebody says "wait a minute, homosexuality is wrong."  and he gets called intolerant, hater, prejudiced, and Christian. 

Yes, those adjectives apply.  I get a kick out of Buffoo stating that the California Supreme Court "can self-righteously  dictate to everyone else."  Does he think they're infringing on *HIS* job?

We are all allowed opinions. That is what is great about our country. I don't have to agree with you or anyone else. You in turn don't have to agree with me.

Gatalife, that sounds like a nice, civil attitude. Thanks for asserting it. We need to be reminded that it's okay to disagree and that we don't have to be uncivil to achieve that.

True that! ;-)  We just have to respect each other 

I am not an outwardly mean person, just opinionated : ) haha

Getalife,  Here is a comment made by a blogger on his local newpaper mydesert.com  This should sum it up in a nutshell

Wow, this is really earth shattering news and so important. You'll do anything to drag up gay marriage crap. Give it a rest, we're all getting sick to death of your gay vs. straight rhetoric.

Speak for your self vwilroy~ this blog was started by TBC. I,for one ,do not see this as "gay vs. straight" and wonder why you do? I am straight as a 2 by 4,but believe this married couple should have the same names on their passports.

A..wow is that the palmsprings paper? Cuz I use to blog on that..hahaha

Vwilroy, I think the lesson in your find is that people here behave just as they do in Bakersfield. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find any difference in content between TBC and The Desert Sun. In spite of the large number of gays in the PS area, there is a conservative majority in this area just like in Kern County. I'd guess that Getalife could vouch for that.

One BIG difference I see is the quality of the public forum. The Californian is, in my judgement, farrrr superior to the environment on The Desert Sun. It's very cumbersome to navigate on TDS while here on TBC, you can participate in a number of conversations all at once just by monitoring the Comments and New Posts tab.  I appreciate that very much. It just make the whole experience more enjoyable.

Sagefever, I did not mean to piss you off.  The point I was making, as I did in several other blogs, is that he turns any issue into a gay issue. Yes, this is his right.  Yes, we all know he is gay.  His being gay is not an issue.  I could care less what someone does in their sexual life and I do feel for the gays that go through gay bashing.  I have lots of gay friends.  They are great.   He just takes the blogs to a different level.  We were all created equal.  We should accept one another.  Just as if I was Catholic and you are 7th Day Adventist.  We don't need to argue who's religion is right as we don't have to argue as to ones sexuality.  And lastly, yes, they should have the same name on the passport.  I agree with this.  I love you all and I am not hatin' here.  I just get tired of the wagers and the wanderings of the minds.  Maybe I should just take a break or get a real life.

Thank you HM.  I understand.  You can be an OK guy.  Look forward to arguing with you again. 

HM while you are quoting God, don't forget "go and sin no more" or the casting out to the "Outer darkness where there will be much gnashing of teeth" of those who chose to serve the demons.  Your choice.  I choose God and the welfare of all creation.