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What in God's Green Earth is this world coming to?
Well, I’m just returning from the local County Court tonight. I had to talk to the Judge on behalf of one of my boys. I’m sure that most people know that I have two Sons, but between fifty and sixty boys. I acquired them all over the years, while I was a Scout Leader. I’m no longer a registered Scout Leader, and many of the boys are no longer Boy Scouts, but nevertheless, they’re all, still my boys. They always will be my boys.
Some of them have become Eagle Scouts. Some of them are attending College. Some of them were lured away from scouting by two of the most powerful distractions, perfume and gasoline fumes. When boys reach a certain age, they begin to think of other things than Scouting, and that’s fine by me. I always hope that they’ve learned a solid sense of right and wrong by that time. Even if they’ve learned their lessons, being boys, they still screw up from time to time. God know that I did.
Many of my boys have rather turbulent or, at least, unsettled home lives. Some have no Father for one reason or another. Some haven’t even got a Mother who is invested in their personal growth. A couple of them are even required to be the grownup and, not only care for a Parent who is a total basket case, but raise younger siblings. This is a heavy burden to cast upon a teenager, especially in this day and time.
This afternoon I received a call from a Mother who was so upset with her own Son, that she couldn’t bring herself to act as his advocate. To me, that, in itself, is sad. It seems as though her Son, “borrowed” a car from the little old lady next door. He has a license to drive, but there were a couple of problems. A: he was grounded for a bad grade on his report card, and B: the little old lady didn’t know that he “borrowed” her car…..
Well, Mom reported the car stolen about five minutes after he drove away in it. He was stopped and arrested about six minutes after that, so he didn’t get very far. How stupid can a relatively smart teenager get? By the looks of this particular situation, pretty stupid.
I’ve known this particular kid, and his family, since he was seven years old. He’s proven himself (to me) to be bright, honest and a fairly well thought kid. This afternoon, his Mother consented to have him drug tested on my request. The results aren’t in yet, but I talked with him for over an hour and he appeared to be clear-eyed and sharp in thought. He is showing genuine remorse for his boneheaded actions. It seems as though he and his Mother got into an argument over one of his younger sibling’s behavior. He (I think) realized that he couldn’t win the argument, and bolted.
The lady next door didn’t press charges for a couple of reasons. The car wasn’t damaged, and she knew this boy to be a good kid, before today. He’s still in trouble, but the Judge released him to me because he had no previous police record, and right now, he’s asleep in my guest room. He’ll go to school tomorrow with my Sons and I’ll referee the talks between his Mother and him tomorrow afternoon.
What is happening to this world? Why are things like this happening? I honestly believe that if this boy had a Father, this never would have happened.
It’s my opinion that kids like this are being royally screwed over by self centered adults (their Parents) who won’t belly up and raise and care for their kids. This is a fine young man, who deserves to have a solid, secure home where he knows he’s safe and loved.
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5 comments from 5 users
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posted by
AudreyB
on Mar 20, 2008 at 08:27 AM
Tony Every one of us faces that fork in the road which determines our future behavior. A parent or friend can't make someone behave correctly. They can influence and counsel the wiser course to take, but in the long run everyone is responsible for themselves. Maybe this incident will nudge this kid in the right direction. posted by
sagefever
on Mar 20, 2008 at 08:24 AM
We need many more just like you,best of luck to the young man. posted by
adampayne
on Mar 20, 2008 at 08:16 AM
Profound story of our everyday struggles. When the biological hormones of youth get coupled with anger and frustrations this mixture can cause a short circuit to the logical side of the brain. I'm glad to hear no charges were brought, and I'm sure your intervention and support played a big part in the result. It is unfortunate that so many abdicate their roles and responsibilities when it comes to parenthood. The young man was fortunate to have a responsible adult such as yourself in his corner, and hopefully comes to terms with better self control. As you point out, so many do not get that second chance, and no one is there to intervene and rescue them from a court's judgement, which puts these young people in a very deep hole just as they start out in life. Good work, Tony! posted by
RQAL
on Mar 19, 2008 at 10:22 PM
I think a lot of people(Parents) don't want the work that goes with the parenthood part of it, I think a lot of adults want to be their kids best friend and not be a parent. Let's face it, it is tough as hell being the bad guy and saying no or stepping up to the plate. I suppose it is called tough love for a reason. Sure is sad to see these good kids out there that just need a father figure or someone that cares enough like yourself to be there for these kids. posted by
woofwoof
on Mar 19, 2008 at 10:20 PM
There's so much I'd like to say on this, but I just don't know how to word it. I think the last words you wrote are it in a nutshell. A solid, secure home where you know you're safe and loved. What a BIG dream for too many children, and teens, especially.
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