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zeropointzero - > Zero Point Zero -> City launches an air ball
City launches an air ball

DEANNEXATION!! DEANNEXATION!!

Good citizens of the Quailwood residential area and other areas victimized by the latest crime sweep conducted by Bakersfield City Code Enforcement that could severely jeopardize my lofty free throw percentage, I call on you to join me in commencing city deannexation procedures.

I learned Tuesday via a notification placed on my porch fence that I am in violation of Bakersfield Municipal Code 12.21.010 for having a portable basketball goal and support standard perched on my sidewalk, facing the street in my cul-de-sac so my kids and I can play hoops once in while. I saw at least a half dozen other notifications on front doors of people with sidewalk hoops in just my immediate area. In the county, you could have an entire arena perched on your sidewalk and they wouldn’t care.

I have until the 22nd to remove it, or face a fine of up to $300 or a 90 prison sentence or both. Each day I do nothing after the deadline for removal is a separate violation, subject to the same fine. So in theory if I do nothing, I could get life.

“Hey, man . . what-a-ya in fer?”

“I didn’t move my basketball hoop off my sidewalk.”

“Man, we don’t like your kind in here.”

It was a complaint from a citizen that got all of us horrible violaters busted, so I guess there’s at least one person in the neighborhood who won’t sign the petition to secede from the city. Really, is it so hard to skip around the thing? And I’m told by police that they have no choice but to enforce the code once a complaint is made. I understand further that as long as the goal gets moved off the sidewalk or street when not in use, I’m not in violation. But the wheels on those things are not positioned for easy transport.

OK. So . . . I guess I’ll have to tell my 15-year-old, who’s too lazy to move a sock off the floor to his drawer, to a roll a clunky, weighty, top heavy basketball standard that could easily crash down on his head and crack his skull, on and off the sidewalk every time he wants to play, particularly during those times I’m not at home to help him.

 He won’t do it, nor do I want him to. So, I  guess that’ll be one less at-home, wholesome, healthy activity he can do to keep himself out of trouble or out from under the clutches of his PS2.

How about this, Bakersfield. Get your best code enforcement guy, bring him over and we’ll shoot for it. Bring along the person who filed the complaint and if he/she can make a three-pointer before I do, I’ll move it.

 Moreover, I won’t have my dog poop on their lawn anymore.
 

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posted by zeropointzero on Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 05:57 PM
Report a Violation
Viewed 221 times
18 comments from 9 users

1

posted by dbiker on Apr 16, 2008 at 11:13 PM

 I am glad you live in Quailwood and not my neighborhood,.

posted by qvjayne on Apr 17, 2008 at 12:14 AM

 If your neighborhood is anything like my neighborhood, parking is an issue on the street. There's barely enough room to park your own cars in front of the house. The trash collector won't pick up if anything is in the way- like a skateboarding ramp or half pipe. I can see moving it off the street and sidewalk when not in use, but the neighbor who complained should have come to you first and asked nicely. That could have alleviated the need to have law enforcement involved in something as trivial and unthreatening to the public's safety.

posted by NancyII on Apr 17, 2008 at 02:12 AM

 I see several issues here.  One is that you don't own the sidewalk and have no more right to leave objects there on a pretty much permanent basis than you do to leave a car parked in the street without ever moving it.

The other is that possibly the noise drives people crazy.  At one time I lived in a townhouse on Country Place Lane.  These are 3 apartment units individually owned but share a common driveway making the small interior parking area like a concrete courtyard.  There was a fearsome echo effect.   The bedrooms face the parking lot.  I was a bartender at the time and worked nights.  My neighbor bought one of those portable basketball hoops.   You can probably see where I'm going with this.

If you can't see where I'm going let me enlighten you.  On Saturday and Sunday the boy and all his friends around the neighborhood gathered there to shoot a few hoops.  When the family wasn't home, the neighbor kids used it.  I couldn't sleep when I needed to, I couldn't sit out on my patio, I couldn't I watch TV with the sliding doors open.  The mother and I discussed it and she told the kids they couldn't use the hoop when I was sleeping so she did her part.  Trouble is, evenings, weekends, summers,  and holidays it was a constant bam bam bam bam KABAM and it drove me to distraction.

By the way, I have one stored behind my garage right now because my grandson bought one for his bride and it probably got used a dozen times.  Yard sale material?  Goodwill?  I guess it won't be going to Quailwood but if it did..better you than me.

By the way zeropointzero....that what parks are for.  If yours doesn't have a court, slip into your neighboring community Park Stockdale.  They have one there and  someone is always up for a game.

posted by NancyII on Apr 17, 2008 at 02:29 AM

 Just as an aside.  If anyone wonders what I'm doing up posting at this ungodly hour, it's because I had the mother of all cramps just wake me up.  This latest cramp went from the back of the top on my thigh down into the calf and onward to the tip of my toes with my foot being bent upwards and back.  My whole leg looked like the wing on a turkey with a zig zag going on.  What do you folks do for after midnight cramps?

Sorry...off topic, I just needed to whine.

posted by Griffon64 on Apr 17, 2008 at 08:48 AM

 Midnight cramps? I mostly cuss and groan and ride it out, I've never found anything that helps :-P

What is it with people thinking they own the sidewalks anyway? There's RV parked in a driveway and jutting out over the curb, almost right into the street. It is always there. What makes it even worse is that it is a cop's RV ... but anyway. He says it would cost too much to store it. Well, cry me a river. You can afford the bloody thing but you can't afford to store it? Gaw. He also has one of those 6-wheeled trucks parked out front, so I struggle to see how he can't afford to store the RV. Why do people think they can just go ahead and buy an RV if they don't have a pad or the ability to store it, and then park it as a code-violating eyesore, irritating neighbours? Such selfish, me-me-me entitlement. Makes my blood boil.

Ideally people would keep their basketball hoops in their backyards or maybe driveways, but I guess most driveways are out of the question because of the two trucks parked in it because the garage is stuffed with junk ;-)

I'm all for people getting some wholesome entertainment, but when I walk the dog for my own wholesome entertainment and I have to weave around basketball hoops, jutting RVs and the like, what about me, or is this thing one-directional only? Dog, on a leash, went round the other side of a basketball hoop once and I thought the thing would tip over and crack both our skulls. ( I carry a baggy to scoop and I don't see the point of driving the dog to the park to walk it. I mean, good gravy. We have enough air pollution already. I walk to the park. )

Can't these hoops be manufactured to be more portable? Maybe the shaft could be easily collapsible or something.

Anyway, I jabbered enough!

posted by antiextremism on Apr 17, 2008 at 08:58 AM

 It's time to lay that concrete in the backyard Andy. Not only will the neighbors be pleased, you'll have less lawn to mow!

Nancy.......try taking a magnesium/malic acid supplement before you retire. It helps to relax your muscles and is very cheap.

posted by OldBlue56 on Apr 17, 2008 at 09:16 AM

 After reading Kehe's rant, it's no wonder TBC portrays law enforcement like they do.

griffon, if your neighbor is a cop, and his RV is blocking the sidewalk, call his department and speak to a supervisor, nicely of course. I bet it will be moved in no time.

And anti, you suggest Nancy take that supplement before she retires. Me thinks that's too late, since she's already retired.

posted by NancyII on Apr 17, 2008 at 09:18 AM

 Thanks anti..I'll check into that.  I was on statins for a short time and they just about killed me.  I quit taking them and the cramps went away..can't imagine what brought them on this time.

On statins, I would get those cramps in BOTH legs at once.  Had a friend tell me to put hot wet towels on for relief and I chuckled.  How was I going to get to the bathroom with BOTH legs tied in pretzels?   Hopping around on one is bad enough...lol.

posted by NancyII on Apr 17, 2008 at 09:19 AM

 ROFL OB...good one.

Edit...ooops..only semi retired now.  I just went back to work on a very part time job.  A few hours in the evening 3 evenings a week.  Similar field.

posted by OldBlue56 on Apr 17, 2008 at 09:24 AM

 I will soon be doing the same thing Nancy. One day a week. That will still leave 4 for golf.

posted by NancyII on Apr 17, 2008 at 09:42 AM

 Good planning OB ! 

We may be doing the same thing.  :-)

posted by zeropointzero on Apr 17, 2008 at 09:53 AM

Got a call from Sgt. Terry of the Bakersfield Police Department this morning wanting to set the record straight about just who it was that issued the notice of violations in the Quailwood area to people with basketball standards blocking the sidewalks. He's a good guy so I'll pass along his comment  that it was "code enforcement" not Bakersfield Police who went around issuing the notifications. My bad . . . although in the upper left and right corners of  my notification are images of Bakersfield Police shields.

 

 

 

 

posted by OldBlue56 on Apr 17, 2008 at 09:58 AM

 AGAIN, a reporter from TBC does not get the facts straight and misleads the public!

posted by antiextremism on Apr 17, 2008 at 10:59 AM

 4 days for golf OldBlue???

You bastard!!!!!!            Sincerely, the Green Eyed Monsta

        & nbsp;       &n bsp;       &nb sp;       &nbs p;         ;                 & nbsp;       &n bsp;       &nb sp;     

posted by juliajulez on Sep 11, 2008 at 04:30 PM

So this is several months later.. but I just received a nasty slip telling me to remove my hoop from it's location.  I couldn't believe this guy was serious so I came on-line right away to research and call BULLS**T!  Instead I find that others have had the same problem!  What the??????  Seriously.. I can't believe this!  I actually got into an argument with the guy and he couldn't give me a legitimate answer.. kept putting his foot in his own mouth.. almost knowing it was ridiculous but didn't have a choice.  My hoop used to be on the side walk but it made it unsafe for the little kids who ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk just in front of a couple houses from their own.  So I did what everyone else down the street and around all the surrounding blocks did, pushed it off the curb into the gutter.  Sticks out less than if a vehicle was there.

My kids don't use it everyday.. but they use it often enough to be beneficial.  They are right in front of our house! We sit out on the front porch and either join them or watch them play H-O-R-S-E.  They skateboard there, ride their bikes, play basketball, throw the football.. they call "CAR" and move when a car is coming... what the ??  This is so annoying!  The guy tells me that "it could be in the way of someone who might be in wheelchair trying to get by."  I said, "why would they be on the street?  Shouldn't they wheel themselves on the sidewalk?"  He said, "well, in case they fell or needed space because the sidewalk was blocked."  WHAT?  I said, "okay, so do I need to move my vehicle which is parked in front of my house?"  He said "well technically that area is PUBLIC SPACE for PUBLIC ACCESS."  I replied, "Cool, then since I am also 'PUBLIC' I am choosing to 'ACCESS' it with my basketball hoop!"  He said, "if that is your choice ma'am just know you have been warned and I will be back to see if you have moved it.  If not you will be fined."

I sooooooo cannot believe this is legit?!!!!!!

INSANE!

STUPID!

ASININE!

PETTY!

posted by juliajulez on Sep 11, 2008 at 04:38 PM

Oh.. and after reading the comment from "NANCY II"  .. #1. having a hoop in or around apartments or condos, whatever, close-living situations, that is totally different!  When you are a home owner and you have your own space and all your neighborhood kids come over to throw hoops.. what's the big deal?  #2.  having the hoop on the sidewalk, sure, I see that as a problem.  Which is why I moved mine.  Emptied some of the water and rolled it right off the curb so it sits in the gutter.  Why should that be a problem?  For anyone??????  IN FACT...  I will try to describe this as best as possible.. the exact location of my hoop is inbetween the my driveway and our neighbors.  There's not even enough space there for a motorcycle to park so it's not even blocking a vehicle's right to park there. 

I don't know... I think there should be some sort of comprimise. 

posted by Shwaine on Sep 11, 2008 at 06:28 PM

Since you have it between the houses, maybe your neighbor doesn't want to be cited for your hoop. And technically he would be since it straddles property lines. So be a good neighbor instead of a whiner and move it fully onto your property, preferably at the top of the driveway where it isn't a code violation.

posted by OldBlue56 on Sep 11, 2008 at 06:42 PM

julia, can you not comprehend the concept of a what a street is? If one of your kids were shooting hoops in the street, and someone driving a VEHICLE on the street accidentally hit them, would you sue them for not paying better attention? You know you would! Why don't you get off your fat a** and take your kids to the nearest school or park and shoot hoops with them? I'm sure you could use the exercise.

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