http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991 In honor of the new PIrates of the Caribbean movie coming out in a few weeks, we're putting up &quot;The Government Manual for New Pirates&quot; on Free Stuff this week. This tome has everything from a guide to conjugating 'to be' for new pirates (it's always 'be') to a page with a paper eye patch you can cut out (presumably when you need an eye patch in a pinch.) Share your favortie pirate story, memory, photo, whatever. The best wins the book. As usual, you can read the rules here. In honor of the new PIrates of the Caribbean movie coming out in a few weeks, we're putting up &quot;The Government Manual for New Pirates&quot; on Free Stuff this week. This tome has everything from a guide to conjugating 'to be' for new pirates (it's always 'be') to a page with a paper eye patch you can cut out (presumably when you need an eye patch in a pinch.) Share your favortie pirate story, memory, photo, whatever. The best wins the book. As usual, you can read the rules here. en-us Mon, 07 May 2007 17:30:48 PDT <div>Is this how the paper is &quot;doing their part&quot; in countering global warming?<br /> <br /> </div> <div></div> <div><img alt="" src="http://www.venganza.org/piratesarecool4.jpg" /><br /> <br /> <font face="Courier New" size="2">&quot;</font><a href="http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/"><font face="Courier New" size="2">You may be interested to know</font></a><font face="Courier New" size="2"> that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.&quot;</font><br /> <br /> What are you going to do to protect the winner from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirates_versus_Ninjas">ninjas</a>? </div> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87316 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87316 <div>Is this how the paper is &quot;doing their part&quot; in countering global warming?<br /> <br /> </div> <div></div> <div><img alt="" src="http://www.venganza.org/piratesarecool4.jpg" /><br /> <br /> <font face="Courier New" size="2">&quot;</font><a href="http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/"><font face="Courier New" size="2">You may be interested to know</font></a><font face="Courier New" size="2"> that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.&quot;</font><br /> <br /> What are you going to do to protect the winner from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirates_versus_Ninjas">ninjas</a>? </div> <p>I guess you don't read the news much.</p> <p>Pirating is up!!!!! Not down...</p> <p>Poor guy sure picked a poor statistic to make a humorous point..</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><a href="javascript:add_smilie(&quot;:piratesmile:&quot;,&quot;smid_127&quot;)"><img id="smid_127" alt="piratesmile.gif" src="http://untothebreach.net/style_emoticons/default/piratesmile.gif" valign="absmiddle" /></a></p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87329 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87329 <p>I guess you don't read the news much.</p> <p>Pirating is up!!!!! Not down...</p> <p>Poor guy sure picked a poor statistic to make a humorous point..</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><a href="javascript:add_smilie(&quot;:piratesmile:&quot;,&quot;smid_127&quot;)"><img id="smid_127" alt="piratesmile.gif" src="http://untothebreach.net/style_emoticons/default/piratesmile.gif" valign="absmiddle" /></a></p> <p>It's up because us Pastafarians be doing what we can to fight the scurvy menace of global warmin'.&nbsp; Join us or die!</p> <p>.</p> <p>By the way, I recommend renting &quot;Monty Python and the Meaning of Life&quot; just for the short feature on the pirate accounting firm, the Crimson Permanent Assurance.&nbsp; (Although &quot;Every Sperm is Sacred&quot; is a highlight too...)</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87334 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87334 <p>It's up because us Pastafarians be doing what we can to fight the scurvy menace of global warmin'.&nbsp; Join us or die!</p> <p>.</p> <p>By the way, I recommend renting &quot;Monty Python and the Meaning of Life&quot; just for the short feature on the pirate accounting firm, the Crimson Permanent Assurance.&nbsp; (Although &quot;Every Sperm is Sacred&quot; is a highlight too...)</p> Sorry, forgot:&nbsp; Arrrr! http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87341 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87341 Sorry, forgot:&nbsp; Arrrr! <p>What a wonderful day for the sacred to be swimming. Where is a DC Madame when you need one. I guess I&rsquo;ll have to go swimming by myself.. </p> <u><font color="#0000ff"> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8"></a></p> </font><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8"><u><font color="#0000ff">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8</font></u></a></u> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87350 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87350 <p>What a wonderful day for the sacred to be swimming. Where is a DC Madame when you need one. I guess I&rsquo;ll have to go swimming by myself.. </p> <u><font color="#0000ff"> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8"></a></p> </font><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8"><u><font color="#0000ff">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8</font></u></a></u> Stay out of the deep end of the gene pool, tkozy. :) http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87354 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87354 Stay out of the deep end of the gene pool, tkozy. :) <p align="center"><a href="javascript:add_smilie(&quot;:beee:&quot;,&quot;smid_11&quot;)"><img id="smid_11" alt="beee.gif" src="http://untothebreach.net/style_emoticons/default/beee.gif" valign="absmiddle" /></a></p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87360 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87360 <p align="center"><a href="javascript:add_smilie(&quot;:beee:&quot;,&quot;smid_11&quot;)"><img id="smid_11" alt="beee.gif" src="http://untothebreach.net/style_emoticons/default/beee.gif" valign="absmiddle" /></a></p> <p><img alt="" src="http://re3.mm-a8.yimg.com/image/4245418693" /></p> <p>Ahoy, me eyepatch needs fabric softenarr! <br /> </p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87370 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87370 <p><img alt="" src="http://re3.mm-a8.yimg.com/image/4245418693" /></p> <p>Ahoy, me eyepatch needs fabric softenarr! <br /> </p> Well, blow me Downy!&nbsp; Awk-awk-awk-awk! http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87373 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87373 Well, blow me Downy!&nbsp; Awk-awk-awk-awk! <p>I be such an authentic pirate, that when I go out on the town as Cap'n, I make me signifacant other dress up as Coke.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Get it??&nbsp; Cap'n &amp; Coke&nbsp;&nbsp; Arrrgh!!!&nbsp; Ack!&nbsp; Ack!&nbsp; Ack!</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87601 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87601 <p>I be such an authentic pirate, that when I go out on the town as Cap'n, I make me signifacant other dress up as Coke.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Get it??&nbsp; Cap'n &amp; Coke&nbsp;&nbsp; Arrrgh!!!&nbsp; Ack!&nbsp; Ack!&nbsp; Ack!</p> I am voting for ynoma74 to win this one with due to a great joke! http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87888 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_87888 I am voting for ynoma74 to win this one with due to a great joke! We agree with bakonative, ynoma74 is the winner! Congrats. http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_91773 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_91773 We agree with bakonative, ynoma74 is the winner! Congrats. <p>WHOO HOO!!!</p> <p>Nows I get to be an offical like pirate, ARGH!&nbsp; ; )</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_91784 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/FreeStuff/8991/#c_91784 <p>WHOO HOO!!!</p> <p>Nows I get to be an offical like pirate, ARGH!&nbsp; ; )</p>