http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158 &nbsp;Our 2 week vacation comes to an end today. The high points were my niece's graduation, seeing my sister and husband, visiting with my Mom and Dad and returning home to witness the Atlantis touching down at Edwards AFB. &nbsp;Before we left there were countless home projects that required doing, some of which we got done. Rushing these often causes disagreement between my hubby &amp; I. My daughter is, at 15 reactionary, seeking appreciation for the good things she accomplishes and pretty argumentative. Rule is a four letter word for her which is also the beginning of many heated conversations between the two of them and he and I. Not going into this one right now but our repeat disagreement levels were at an all time high pre-leaving for our 20+ hour drive to the Pacific NorthWest. &nbsp; In my valiant efforts to note the peaks of the vacation the not-so-good times ear mark just about every one of them and multiply these by two. &nbsp;Oh, did I mention my sister, my favorite of three is not speaking to me at all now&nbsp; because we could not bring my Mom (with whom we rode to Seattle from Port Townsend to the Everett graduation event) through another 5 or so hours by joining them for a graduation dinner at the Outback Steakhouse? Yes Mom has been ill, down to 98 pounds and frail. It took them 3 hours to get there 2 hours for the graduation and another 3 to get back to the Olympic Penninsula where they live. &nbsp;She and my other sister seem to think I could have swayed her to remain for a 3 hour wait then dinner at Outback Steak House....Not! I don't much care for the place, prefer not to spend another $200 on food and personally I wanted to return with our ride. &nbsp;I digress... &nbsp;I was reading an article by a Mom of a single 15 year old who went on a summer vacation with the new husband (a step-Dad) and daughter, who did not want to go in the first place. The Mom had so many outstanding ideas of what to do for fun and at every step of the way the daughter rebelled...not wanting to get up in the morning, groaning at the sights along the way....turning up her music so loud that nobody could talk to her and wearing ghastly clothing to make sure the parental figures would look like total idiots everywhere they went. To bring this up she applied... would only create a situation resembling Hell for the rest of the day so why bother. &nbsp;I am not blaming my daughter, she surely was better company than the other Mom's child, and I can't really blame my husband...he is the consistant one. Guess I am going to take one thousand percent of the blame for everything that went wrong, vow to keep working on our issues, pray for a better day for us all and tonight I look forward to another glorious night of restful sleep in our California King Water bed. (-; Soozzzzzzzzzz &nbsp;Our 2 week vacation comes to an end today. The high points were my niece's graduation, seeing my sister and husband, visiting with my Mom and Dad and returning home to witness the Atlantis touching down at Edwards AFB. &nbsp;Before we left there were countless home projects that required doing, some of which we got done. Rushing these often causes disagreement between my hubby &amp; I. My daughter is, at 15 reactionary, seeking appreciation for the good things she accomplishes and pretty argumentative. Rule is a four letter word for her which is also the beginning of many heated conversations between the two of them and he and I. Not going into this one right now but our repeat disagreement levels were at an all time high pre-leaving for our 20+ hour drive to the Pacific NorthWest. &nbsp; In my valiant efforts to note the peaks of the vacation the not-so-good times ear mark just about every one of them and multiply these by two. &nbsp;Oh, did I mention my sister, my favorite of three is not speaking to me at all now&nbsp; because we could not bring my Mom (with whom we rode to Seattle from Port Townsend to the Everett graduation event) through another 5 or so hours by joining them for a graduation dinner at the Outback Steakhouse? Yes Mom has been ill, down to 98 pounds and frail. It took them 3 hours to get there 2 hours for the graduation and another 3 to get back to the Olympic Penninsula where they live. &nbsp;She and my other sister seem to think I could have swayed her to remain for a 3 hour wait then dinner at Outback Steak House....Not! I don't much care for the place, prefer not to spend another $200 on food and personally I wanted to return with our ride. &nbsp;I digress... &nbsp;I was reading an article by a Mom of a single 15 year old who went on a summer vacation with the new husband (a step-Dad) and daughter, who did not want to go in the first place. The Mom had so many outstanding ideas of what to do for fun and at every step of the way the daughter rebelled...not wanting to get up in the morning, groaning at the sights along the way....turning up her music so loud that nobody could talk to her and wearing ghastly clothing to make sure the parental figures would look like total idiots everywhere they went. To bring this up she applied... would only create a situation resembling Hell for the rest of the day so why bother. &nbsp;I am not blaming my daughter, she surely was better company than the other Mom's child, and I can't really blame my husband...he is the consistant one. Guess I am going to take one thousand percent of the blame for everything that went wrong, vow to keep working on our issues, pray for a better day for us all and tonight I look forward to another glorious night of restful sleep in our California King Water bed. (-; Soozzzzzzzzzz en-us <font size="3">Every time I have ever left for vacation the arguments seem to heat up&lt;perhaps it is just part and parcel of getting out of town.anon @10:30 it is you who need to seek help,you know zip about the situation yet make this judgment? 21 words and you prove that beyond doubt.Clearly you have no grown children~they are always yours, 18 is no magic cut off date.Nor is death for that matter.</font> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158/#c_108928 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158/#c_108928 <font size="3">Every time I have ever left for vacation the arguments seem to heat up&lt;perhaps it is just part and parcel of getting out of town.anon @10:30 it is you who need to seek help,you know zip about the situation yet make this judgment? 21 words and you prove that beyond doubt.Clearly you have no grown children~they are always yours, 18 is no magic cut off date.Nor is death for that matter.</font> <p>Hey Sooz,</p> <p>You know that I'm a kid guy. I love'em all. But, YOU have to draw the line sometimes. My boys, at different times, try to be like that too (and I'm still married to their Mom). They haven't been uprooted and moved. Shoot, my youngest Son has lived in the same house his entire life. As much as I hate to, I put my foot down. These are the rules. This is what we are going to do, as a family. You have no choice. Deal with it!</p> <p>These are good lessons for kids to learn, because they will be faced with situations that they truly have no say in. That's part of adult life. They'll be much better prepared to deal with them as adults, if they learn to understand them as kids. </p> <p>You know that I'm all about listening to the kids, and understanding what they say. Sometimes, they just flat don't understand the big picture. That's when you/me/an adult, needs to explain the big picture, and then dictate the event. After the outcome is evident, they'll usually understand. That's when it's time for a debrief. Time to discuss what we experienced and what was learned. Kids don't always remember that &quot;It's NOT all about them&quot;.</p> <p>That's why kids NEED parents. Parents have lived more life, and seen more stuff. </p> <p>My Sons (15 and 13) know that I'll pay out just so much rope, then, I'll plant my size 10 1/5 where the sun doesn't shine. They never doubt my love for them. They both understand that I take my job, as a Father, personal. I refuse to allow them to grow up and be miserable because I didn't teach them the way life works.</p> <p>Please know that I feel for you, as a Parent. Some kids are easier than others. As hard as it can be,&nbsp;most kids NEED a &quot;Sergent Rock&quot; from time to time. It just shows them how much you really care, in the long run................</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158/#c_108932 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158/#c_108932 <p>Hey Sooz,</p> <p>You know that I'm a kid guy. I love'em all. But, YOU have to draw the line sometimes. My boys, at different times, try to be like that too (and I'm still married to their Mom). They haven't been uprooted and moved. Shoot, my youngest Son has lived in the same house his entire life. As much as I hate to, I put my foot down. These are the rules. This is what we are going to do, as a family. You have no choice. Deal with it!</p> <p>These are good lessons for kids to learn, because they will be faced with situations that they truly have no say in. That's part of adult life. They'll be much better prepared to deal with them as adults, if they learn to understand them as kids. </p> <p>You know that I'm all about listening to the kids, and understanding what they say. Sometimes, they just flat don't understand the big picture. That's when you/me/an adult, needs to explain the big picture, and then dictate the event. After the outcome is evident, they'll usually understand. That's when it's time for a debrief. Time to discuss what we experienced and what was learned. Kids don't always remember that &quot;It's NOT all about them&quot;.</p> <p>That's why kids NEED parents. Parents have lived more life, and seen more stuff. </p> <p>My Sons (15 and 13) know that I'll pay out just so much rope, then, I'll plant my size 10 1/5 where the sun doesn't shine. They never doubt my love for them. They both understand that I take my job, as a Father, personal. I refuse to allow them to grow up and be miserable because I didn't teach them the way life works.</p> <p>Please know that I feel for you, as a Parent. Some kids are easier than others. As hard as it can be,&nbsp;most kids NEED a &quot;Sergent Rock&quot; from time to time. It just shows them how much you really care, in the long run................</p> <p>That last post was from the &quot;DAD&quot; in me. Psychologically, in order to change a person's behavior, a &quot;Signifficant Emotional Event&quot; must take place.</p> <p>My Boys don't lie to me, because when they were very young, I tremendously overreacted to their attempt at it. I went WAY over the top, when I cauight them in a lie. To this day, neither one of them will tell a lie. All of those Psychology classes in College didn't go to waste.</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158/#c_108933 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158/#c_108933 <p>That last post was from the &quot;DAD&quot; in me. Psychologically, in order to change a person's behavior, a &quot;Signifficant Emotional Event&quot; must take place.</p> <p>My Boys don't lie to me, because when they were very young, I tremendously overreacted to their attempt at it. I went WAY over the top, when I cauight them in a lie. To this day, neither one of them will tell a lie. All of those Psychology classes in College didn't go to waste.</p> <span class="me">Dear 'anonymous',<br /> Seems you are at it again! My thoughts are either you are a professional who can not disclose your identity for fear of your reputation, or a scared, judgmental hermit afraid of your own shadow.<br /> Either way I will continue, as said above in the blog discount your comments.<br /> Feel free to write me a personal email.<br /> <em>anonymous</em></span><em>&nbsp; <br /> 1601, from Gk. <span class="foreign">anonymos</span> &quot;without a name,&quot; from <span class="foreign">an-</span> &quot;without&quot; + <span class="foreign">onyma,</span> &AElig;olic dialectal form of <span class="foreign">onoma</span> &quot;name&quot;</em> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158/#c_109044 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158/#c_109044 <span class="me">Dear 'anonymous',<br /> Seems you are at it again! My thoughts are either you are a professional who can not disclose your identity for fear of your reputation, or a scared, judgmental hermit afraid of your own shadow.<br /> Either way I will continue, as said above in the blog discount your comments.<br /> Feel free to write me a personal email.<br /> <em>anonymous</em></span><em>&nbsp; <br /> 1601, from Gk. <span class="foreign">anonymos</span> &quot;without a name,&quot; from <span class="foreign">an-</span> &quot;without&quot; + <span class="foreign">onyma,</span> &AElig;olic dialectal form of <span class="foreign">onoma</span> &quot;name&quot;</em> Take it from a Mother of adult children who has vacationed with them and with out them.&nbsp; They grow up.&nbsp; These times will be a thing of the past.&nbsp; I myself know that I gave my parents fits and now my parents and I are the best of friends.&nbsp; In fact I just returned from a vacation with them.&nbsp; 3 generations trapped in a Minnie Whinnie and we all survived.&nbsp; Don't beat yourself us because of typical actions by children/teenagers.&nbsp; I love to refer to my kids at those ages as Aliens.&nbsp; Thank god, I was not blessed with a girl.&nbsp;I know that is a cop out but hey... I would not want to raise a minnie me.&nbsp; One of&nbsp;me in this world was enough. &nbsp;Boys are just as troublesom at times in different ways.&nbsp; The cool thing is that you actually got to go on a vacation.&nbsp; I know that a lot of times I need a vacation after a vacation.&nbsp; http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158/#c_129126 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/Sooz58/11158/#c_129126 Take it from a Mother of adult children who has vacationed with them and with out them.&nbsp; They grow up.&nbsp; These times will be a thing of the past.&nbsp; I myself know that I gave my parents fits and now my parents and I are the best of friends.&nbsp; In fact I just returned from a vacation with them.&nbsp; 3 generations trapped in a Minnie Whinnie and we all survived.&nbsp; Don't beat yourself us because of typical actions by children/teenagers.&nbsp; I love to refer to my kids at those ages as Aliens.&nbsp; Thank god, I was not blessed with a girl.&nbsp;I know that is a cop out but hey... I would not want to raise a minnie me.&nbsp; One of&nbsp;me in this world was enough. &nbsp;Boys are just as troublesom at times in different ways.&nbsp; The cool thing is that you actually got to go on a vacation.&nbsp; I know that a lot of times I need a vacation after a vacation.&nbsp;