http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/blognroll/26565 Welcome to Twitty Tuesday.&nbsp; I'm Dr BLT.&nbsp; I'll be your host.&nbsp; Today we're going to take&nbsp;an up close and personal look&nbsp;at the lyrics to Conway Twitty's big hit, Hello Darlin': Hello darlin' nice to see ya it's been a long time you're just as lovely as you used to be how's your new love are you happy hope you're doin' fine just to know it means so much to me It's hard to be friendly with someone who has betrayed you, or somebody that has not only left you unforgiven for something terrible that you've done, but someone whose inability to forgive you eventually led that person to walk out the door.&nbsp; The question is, why would somebody cause so much pain to a loved one, that the loved one would walk?&nbsp; Then again, did the person simply use the wrong you committed as an excuse for leaving you in the dark?&nbsp; Renounce post-Freudian psychological theorist, Henry Murray believes that we produce tension in relationships just so we can go about trying to reduce that tension.&nbsp; In other words, we all have an unconsious need for drama in our lives.&nbsp; What's that darlin' how am I doin I'm doin' alright except I can't sleep I cry all night 'till dawn What I'm tryin' to say is I love you and I miss you and I'm so sorry that I did you wrong Henry Murray believes that physiological processes are central to functioning, and central to the understanding of dysfunction. And, in terms of physiological phenomena, sleep and appetite are a couple of the first things to be impacted by emotional distress.&nbsp; Tears are a mechanism of release, the lachrymal paroxysms are instrumental to the recovery process. The problem is, most men have a problem with the association between crying and weakness.&nbsp; As I said once in a song, singin' is a man's way of cryin' and this song goes a long way towards releasing &quot;man tears.&quot;&nbsp; Look up darlin' let me kiss you just for old times sake let me hold you in my arms one more time... Murray would look at these lines as an expression of what he referred to as &quot;prepotency.&quot;&nbsp; It has to do with that certain urgency or importuning insistence that often accompanies an unfulfilled need.&nbsp; ...Goodbye darlin' I gotta go now gotta try to find a way to lose these memories of a love so warm and true and if you should ever find it in your heart to forgive me come back darlin' I'll be waitin' for you The memories Twitty is attempting to lose in this song represent what Murray would refer to as &quot;press.&quot;&nbsp; Press is short for &quot;pressure.&quot; Press can have it's origins in the enviornment, or in events from the past that form a representation in memory.&nbsp; Memories are most-often emotionally-charged.&nbsp; The more intimate the memories, the more intense the pain, when the object of that intimacy leaves the scene. When need meets press, you get an &quot;amalgamation&quot; that Murray referred to as &quot;Thema.&quot; It's where the rubber meets the road.&nbsp; It's where the pressure brings out what it is you're made of.&nbsp; Now, how does childhood development fit into the mix, according to Murray?&nbsp; Well, childhood experiences and the memories they produce can lead to&nbsp;various complexes.&nbsp; For example, the&nbsp;trauma of birth, involving&nbsp;an abrupt exit from the security of the womb&nbsp;can contribute to what Murray described&nbsp;as a &quot;Claustral complex.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp; If a child is mollycoddled for too long, letting&nbsp;go of the&nbsp;&quot;oral complex (sensual enjoyment associated with sucking from the breast and other transitional objects), can produce trauma that&nbsp;rears its ugly head&nbsp;in adult intimate relationships when&nbsp;an unhealthy dependency is followed by&nbsp;what is perceived as&nbsp;unbearable rejection or abandonment.&nbsp;&nbsp; Hello Darlin' is much more than a love letter.&nbsp;&nbsp;It is an attempt to reduce&nbsp;the tension that&nbsp;comes from being unforgiven, rejected and abandoned by the object of one's love.&nbsp; The degree of success one will have in reducing that tension will, in most cases, depend on the degree to which unresolved childhood conflicts rear their ugly heads to intensify and complicate things.&nbsp;&nbsp; Sadly,&nbsp;when prepotency is at an overwhelming high level, when urgency is greatest, and when solicitous insistence&nbsp;on rapproachment&nbsp;is greatest, the search for resolution or the effort to find&nbsp;tension-reduction represents an ineffably illusive quest.&nbsp; The moral of the story, if you haven't figured it out by now, is this: Do your best to create a safe, secure enviornment for your child or children.&nbsp; When children feel secure, they grow up better equipped to handle the bumps on life's trecherous road.&nbsp; &nbsp; Welcome to Twitty Tuesday.&nbsp; I'm Dr BLT.&nbsp; I'll be your host.&nbsp; Today we're going to take&nbsp;an up close and personal look&nbsp;at the lyrics to Conway Twitty's big hit, Hello Darlin': Hello darlin' nice to see ya it's been a long time you're just as lovely as you used to be how's your new love are you happy hope you're doin' fine just to know it means so much to me It's hard to be friendly with someone who has betrayed you, or somebody that has not only left you unforgiven for something terrible that you've done, but someone whose inability to forgive you eventually led that person to walk out the door.&nbsp; The question is, why would somebody cause so much pain to a loved one, that the loved one would walk?&nbsp; Then again, did the person simply use the wrong you committed as an excuse for leaving you in the dark?&nbsp; Renounce post-Freudian psychological theorist, Henry Murray believes that we produce tension in relationships just so we can go about trying to reduce that tension.&nbsp; In other words, we all have an unconsious need for drama in our lives.&nbsp; What's that darlin' how am I doin I'm doin' alright except I can't sleep I cry all night 'till dawn What I'm tryin' to say is I love you and I miss you and I'm so sorry that I did you wrong Henry Murray believes that physiological processes are central to functioning, and central to the understanding of dysfunction. And, in terms of physiological phenomena, sleep and appetite are a couple of the first things to be impacted by emotional distress.&nbsp; Tears are a mechanism of release, the lachrymal paroxysms are instrumental to the recovery process. The problem is, most men have a problem with the association between crying and weakness.&nbsp; As I said once in a song, singin' is a man's way of cryin' and this song goes a long way towards releasing &quot;man tears.&quot;&nbsp; Look up darlin' let me kiss you just for old times sake let me hold you in my arms one more time... Murray would look at these lines as an expression of what he referred to as &quot;prepotency.&quot;&nbsp; It has to do with that certain urgency or importuning insistence that often accompanies an unfulfilled need.&nbsp; ...Goodbye darlin' I gotta go now gotta try to find a way to lose these memories of a love so warm and true and if you should ever find it in your heart to forgive me come back darlin' I'll be waitin' for you The memories Twitty is attempting to lose in this song represent what Murray would refer to as &quot;press.&quot;&nbsp; Press is short for &quot;pressure.&quot; Press can have it's origins in the enviornment, or in events from the past that form a representation in memory.&nbsp; Memories are most-often emotionally-charged.&nbsp; The more intimate the memories, the more intense the pain, when the object of that intimacy leaves the scene. When need meets press, you get an &quot;amalgamation&quot; that Murray referred to as &quot;Thema.&quot; It's where the rubber meets the road.&nbsp; It's where the pressure brings out what it is you're made of.&nbsp; Now, how does childhood development fit into the mix, according to Murray?&nbsp; Well, childhood experiences and the memories they produce can lead to&nbsp;various complexes.&nbsp; For example, the&nbsp;trauma of birth, involving&nbsp;an abrupt exit from the security of the womb&nbsp;can contribute to what Murray described&nbsp;as a &quot;Claustral complex.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp; If a child is mollycoddled for too long, letting&nbsp;go of the&nbsp;&quot;oral complex (sensual enjoyment associated with sucking from the breast and other transitional objects), can produce trauma that&nbsp;rears its ugly head&nbsp;in adult intimate relationships when&nbsp;an unhealthy dependency is followed by&nbsp;what is perceived as&nbsp;unbearable rejection or abandonment.&nbsp;&nbsp; Hello Darlin' is much more than a love letter.&nbsp;&nbsp;It is an attempt to reduce&nbsp;the tension that&nbsp;comes from being unforgiven, rejected and abandoned by the object of one's love.&nbsp; The degree of success one will have in reducing that tension will, in most cases, depend on the degree to which unresolved childhood conflicts rear their ugly heads to intensify and complicate things.&nbsp;&nbsp; Sadly,&nbsp;when prepotency is at an overwhelming high level, when urgency is greatest, and when solicitous insistence&nbsp;on rapproachment&nbsp;is greatest, the search for resolution or the effort to find&nbsp;tension-reduction represents an ineffably illusive quest.&nbsp; The moral of the story, if you haven't figured it out by now, is this: Do your best to create a safe, secure enviornment for your child or children.&nbsp; When children feel secure, they grow up better equipped to handle the bumps on life's trecherous road.&nbsp; &nbsp; en-us <p>Conway called me yesterday morning. I didn't have much time to talk to him, 'cuz I hadda get to work. He did say that he's still dead, though...</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/blognroll/26565/#c_237441 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/blognroll/26565/#c_237441 <p>Conway called me yesterday morning. I didn't have much time to talk to him, 'cuz I hadda get to work. He did say that he's still dead, though...</p> <p>The next time you talk to him, tell him I said, thanks for the song :)</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/blognroll/26565/#c_237446 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/blognroll/26565/#c_237446 <p>The next time you talk to him, tell him I said, thanks for the song :)</p> <p>He did mention something about royalties and copyright infringement, but when I reminded him of his doesn't-move-even-in-a-hurricane hair style, he piped down but quick.</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/blognroll/26565/#c_237453 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/blognroll/26565/#c_237453 <p>He did mention something about royalties and copyright infringement, but when I reminded him of his doesn't-move-even-in-a-hurricane hair style, he piped down but quick.</p> <p>Yeah, coming to think of it,&nbsp;<i>Hello Darlin'</i>&nbsp;sounds conspicuously similar to one I wrote and recorded as a little toddler, just a few months prior to the date this one was penned.&nbsp; Tell him not to feel guilty about the royalty and copyright infringement issue.&nbsp; I've already forgiven him due to sympathy over the many bad hair days he's had.&nbsp; Tell him I also&nbsp;accept visa and mastercard.&nbsp;</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/blognroll/26565/#c_237456 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/blognroll/26565/#c_237456 <p>Yeah, coming to think of it,&nbsp;<i>Hello Darlin'</i>&nbsp;sounds conspicuously similar to one I wrote and recorded as a little toddler, just a few months prior to the date this one was penned.&nbsp; Tell him not to feel guilty about the royalty and copyright infringement issue.&nbsp; I've already forgiven him due to sympathy over the many bad hair days he's had.&nbsp; Tell him I also&nbsp;accept visa and mastercard.&nbsp;</p>