Flu vs. Fruit - I'm Still Kicking! - ghostriter's Blog - Bakersfield.com

Apr 29, 2009 at 02:04 PM : Ghost: Now I am...

Ghost: Now I am hungry, maybe I need to buy from them, sounds yummy

Apr 29, 2009 at 02:04 PM : I am...

I am completely different. I panic over everything. Although, I have to say I wouldn't have worried about buying strawberries and mangoes from anybody. Gimme a break.

Maybe I panic because I'm on a constant state of alert around here with two kids who are constantly getting themselves into worrisome situations. I guess worrying about potential threats to the kids is my day job.

Apr 29, 2009 at 03:04 PM : I was like that, too,...

I was like that, too, when my kids were little. I wouldn't even let them out of my sight at the Tehachapi Mtn. Festival, when they wanted to run around with their friends. But that is different; that was them. I worried for them incessantly. That calms down as they get older...until your 15 year old daughter gets into some kid's car, that is!

Apr 29, 2009 at 03:04 PM : So grocery stores are...

So grocery stores are immune from swine flu? Those strawberries come from the same fields.

Apr 29, 2009 at 03:04 PM : LOL--when our daughter...

LOL--when our daughter turns 15 and gets into a kid's car it will be my husband's worry! ; )

I am soooo looking forward to a time when I don't CONSTANTLY have to make sure the cleaning products are locked up and my son's tiny toys aren't in the baby's mouth and my son isn't trying to jump off the top of his fort and the baby isn't trying to dig around in the knife drawer.

I am getting better, though. I used to worry when my son was little and ate play-doh, but now that I know it's non-toxic, when I see the baby eating it I'm just glad it isn't turds out of the litter box again.

PS--Thanks for Tuesday, Ghost. : )

Apr 29, 2009 at 03:04 PM : TWO SCOTTISH PEOPLE...

TWO SCOTTISH PEOPLE FEELING A BIT RUN DOWN

THE government has raised its virus alert level to 'pantastic' after it was confirmed that two people in Scotland were hovering close to feeling slightly unwell.

The pair, from one of the dozens of non-descript hell-holes between Edinburgh and Glasgow, were admitted to hospital yesterday when their condition was described as 'critically fuzzy'.

Doctors said they were now 90% certain the couple were suffering from Pork Flu as opposed to a common strain of Scottish Influenza, also known as a bastard hangover.

Dr Tom Logan, from the Royal Infirmary of Scotland, said: "Scottish flu is particularly common at this time of year as the weather becomes milder and the days longer, meaning everyone spends even more time in the pub than usual, mainly because they can stand outside all night smoking hundreds of fags."

He added: "I would not be surprised if over the next few days we see thousands of Scottish people coming forward reeking of cheap wine and claiming to have spent the weekend in Mexico City."

A Department of Health spokesman said: "We are almost certainly facing a pandemic and there is now nothing we can do to stop quite a few people being given some pills and told to stay home and watch Murder She Wrote.

"However, we are urging those infected not to watch Grey's Anatomy on Living TV. It won't make their illness any worse, but it will make them much, much worse - as people."

Meanwhile in America more than 40 people have been confirmed as feeling a bit peaky, including one woman who really had to sit down.

Apr 29, 2009 at 03:04 PM : ROFLMFAO!!!! Great...

ROFLMFAO!!!! Great one, Don!!! Where did you get that one?

Let's do it again soon, Cat. Maybe you can bring the kids up the hill and we can go shopping while my hubby watches your kids! He's really good at it....

Apr 29, 2009 at 04:04 PM : "Where did...

"Where did you get that one?"

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/

The Daily Mash is England's version of The Onion. Great satire.

Apr 29, 2009 at 04:04 PM : The lady I share an...

The lady I share an office with was in Cabo last week. Should I be panicky??? Maybe I need to spend the next week in bed or on the couch just in case... A vacation would be nice :)

Apr 29, 2009 at 04:04 PM : Sounds fun,...

Sounds fun, Ghost. The kids won't stay with a babysitter, though--they freak out. I'll just have to drag them along. : )

And oh ho ho, Don--I can't wait to dig into the Daily Mash--I'm already putting it on my favorites.

Apr 29, 2009 at 06:04 PM : That was great...

That was great Don~ I'm adding the Daily Mash to my list of addictions!

Panic is not the way to spend anytime, at all. Ever.

Apr 29, 2009 at 07:04 PM : Finally, something to...

Finally, something to laugh about. Great piece Don.