http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269 Drafting Guys over 60 &gt; ----this is so Funny &gt; &gt; New Direction for any war:&nbsp; Send Service Vets over 60! &gt; I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down &gt; terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got &gt; the whole thing ass-backwards.&nbsp; Instead of sending 18-year olds off to &gt; fight, they ought to take us old guys.&nbsp; You shouldn't be able to join a &gt; military unit until you're at least 35. &gt; &gt; For starters: &gt; Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.&nbsp; Old guys &gt; only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 &gt; additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. &gt; &gt; Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is &gt; a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts!&nbsp; I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' &gt; We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately &gt; deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while. &gt; &gt; An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always &gt; get up early to pee so what the hell.&nbsp; Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired &gt; and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some &gt; fanatical son-of-a-bitch. &gt; &gt; If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put &gt; them.&nbsp; In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. &gt; &gt; Boot camp would be easier for old guys.&nbsp; We're used to getting screamed &gt; and yelled at and we're used to soft food.&nbsp; We've also developed an &gt; appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get &gt; out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. &gt; &gt; They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.&nbsp; I've been in combat &gt; and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor &gt; did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.&nbsp; I can hear the &gt; Drill Sgt. In the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me ... er .. One.' &gt; &gt; Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never &gt; seen anyone outrun a bullet. &gt; &gt; An 18-year-old has the whole world&nbsp; ahead of him. He's still learning to &gt; shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl.&nbsp; He still hasn't &gt; figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back &gt; of his head. &gt; &gt; &gt; These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home&nbsp; to learn a little &gt; more about life before sending them off into harm's way. &gt; &gt; Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last &gt; thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pissed &gt; off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their &gt; best years are already behind them. Also, we won't get in trouble for &gt; mistreating prisoners. &gt; We won't take any. &gt; &gt; If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the &gt; first night! &gt; &gt; Share this with your senior friends.&nbsp; It's purposely in big type so you &gt; can read it!!!! &gt; &nbsp; Drafting Guys over 60 &gt; ----this is so Funny &gt; &gt; New Direction for any war:&nbsp; Send Service Vets over 60! &gt; I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down &gt; terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got &gt; the whole thing ass-backwards.&nbsp; Instead of sending 18-year olds off to &gt; fight, they ought to take us old guys.&nbsp; You shouldn't be able to join a &gt; military unit until you're at least 35. &gt; &gt; For starters: &gt; Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.&nbsp; Old guys &gt; only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 &gt; additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. &gt; &gt; Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is &gt; a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts!&nbsp; I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' &gt; We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately &gt; deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while. &gt; &gt; An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always &gt; get up early to pee so what the hell.&nbsp; Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired &gt; and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some &gt; fanatical son-of-a-bitch. &gt; &gt; If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put &gt; them.&nbsp; In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. &gt; &gt; Boot camp would be easier for old guys.&nbsp; We're used to getting screamed &gt; and yelled at and we're used to soft food.&nbsp; We've also developed an &gt; appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get &gt; out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. &gt; &gt; They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.&nbsp; I've been in combat &gt; and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor &gt; did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.&nbsp; I can hear the &gt; Drill Sgt. In the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me ... er .. One.' &gt; &gt; Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never &gt; seen anyone outrun a bullet. &gt; &gt; An 18-year-old has the whole world&nbsp; ahead of him. He's still learning to &gt; shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl.&nbsp; He still hasn't &gt; figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back &gt; of his head. &gt; &gt; &gt; These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home&nbsp; to learn a little &gt; more about life before sending them off into harm's way. &gt; &gt; Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last &gt; thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pissed &gt; off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their &gt; best years are already behind them. Also, we won't get in trouble for &gt; mistreating prisoners. &gt; We won't take any. &gt; &gt; If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the &gt; first night! &gt; &gt; Share this with your senior friends.&nbsp; It's purposely in big type so you &gt; can read it!!!! &gt; &nbsp; en-us <p>&nbsp;Sounds like a plan.&nbsp; Count me in.</p> <br /> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227817 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227817 <p>&nbsp;Sounds like a plan.&nbsp; Count me in.</p> <br /> <p>Can I bring my golf clubs ?</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227829 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227829 <p>Can I bring my golf clubs ?</p> <p>ew ew ew (hand waving in air) TAKE ME ...TAKE ME!!!  Not quit 60 but close enough to be a grumpy old man with attitude..</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227839 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227839 <p>ew ew ew (hand waving in air) TAKE ME ...TAKE ME!!!  Not quit 60 but close enough to be a grumpy old man with attitude..</p> <p>The meanest nastiest SOB Drill Sgt would be&nbsp;cake compared to wife.</p> <p>Ron, you gonna hit em wif 9 iron? Think you're not quite gettin it there bud.</p> <p>Lessee, now, where'd I put them damn boolets? Hell, what'd I even come in this damned room fer??</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227841 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227841 <p>The meanest nastiest SOB Drill Sgt would be&nbsp;cake compared to wife.</p> <p>Ron, you gonna hit em wif 9 iron? Think you're not quite gettin it there bud.</p> <p>Lessee, now, where'd I put them damn boolets? Hell, what'd I even come in this damned room fer??</p> <p>Gonna drive me a 5 ton gun truck though. Quad 50's!</p> <p>Got me a step stool ona rope. Pull in at rope when I gets up ina driver's seat.</p> <p>yeah, that'll work!</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227842 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227842 <p>Gonna drive me a 5 ton gun truck though. Quad 50's!</p> <p>Got me a step stool ona rope. Pull in at rope when I gets up ina driver's seat.</p> <p>yeah, that'll work!</p> <p>Chico I figger's&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; one week of mass killing&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; no prisnor's&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I'll have lots of time for golf&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227843 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227843 <p>Chico I figger's&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; one week of mass killing&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; no prisnor's&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I'll have lots of time for golf&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444</p> <p>Hell most of us old timer's&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; might look forward to them there&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; DEAR JOHN LETTER'S</p> <p>I might&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;like taking off some of them there veils</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227845 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227845 <p>Hell most of us old timer's&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; might look forward to them there&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; DEAR JOHN LETTER'S</p> <p>I might&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;like taking off some of them there veils</p> <p>You think women in their monthly are dangous&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; wait till we get there</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227847 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227847 <p>You think women in their monthly are dangous&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; wait till we get there</p> <p>I spent hours and hours following around my old lady from Sears to Penny's&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Gotchalks&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Mazy's&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Lazyboy&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Target&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Syheckers&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; StineMart&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; over this last weekend&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I know I'm tuff</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227849 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227849 <p>I spent hours and hours following around my old lady from Sears to Penny's&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Gotchalks&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Mazy's&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Lazyboy&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Target&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Syheckers&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; StineMart&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; over this last weekend&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I know I'm tuff</p> <p>Wachu talkin bout Willis??</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>(hey..............where'd I put them damn stool softeners??????????????</p> <p>(I know, TMI....................)&nbsp; ;=)</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227850 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227850 <p>Wachu talkin bout Willis??</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>(hey..............where'd I put them damn stool softeners??????????????</p> <p>(I know, TMI....................)&nbsp; ;=)</p> <p>Although the premise is sound it really needs to be refined, just like sugar. To sweeten the pot on this concept I think only those above thirty-five who serve as federally elected and appointed officials should go and wage whatever battle needs to be waged. The world needs to set up teams from governing bodies of all nations to don the gladiator garb and resolve political disputes. No more relying on the kindness of the proletariat to inflict whatever damage needs to be wrecked upon opponents who object to our brand of freedom and justice. All disputes could be resolved fairly quickly if we adopt this type of model.</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227855 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227855 <p>Although the premise is sound it really needs to be refined, just like sugar. To sweeten the pot on this concept I think only those above thirty-five who serve as federally elected and appointed officials should go and wage whatever battle needs to be waged. The world needs to set up teams from governing bodies of all nations to don the gladiator garb and resolve political disputes. No more relying on the kindness of the proletariat to inflict whatever damage needs to be wrecked upon opponents who object to our brand of freedom and justice. All disputes could be resolved fairly quickly if we adopt this type of model.</p> <p>I especially like the baseball cap and the memory parts.&nbsp; :-)</p> http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227859 http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/tchudilowsky/25269/#c_227859 <p>I especially like the baseball cap and the memory parts.&nbsp; :-)</p>